Reason #10 – I let C use a walker
Reason #10 – I let C use a walker
May 30(Canadian readers, you may want to avert your eyes now – for all I know it’s illegal to even read about walkers and you may get in trouble for possession of “walker porn”.)
As I type this, C is zipping about the house like a cheetah with its tail on fire, yelling out like Tarzan, with a toy in each hand and a big plush bear in tow. You’ve never seen a happier child, I swear. Did I mention he’s on his walker?
Yet:
Putting a baby in a walker is like giving a teenager a Ferrari — definitely not recommended. That’s why, as of April 2007, Canada has banned the sale, importation and advertising of all baby walkers. It’s against the law to even sell a used baby walker at a garage sale or flea market.
We’re nowhere near Canada, but even if we were we wouldn’t have broken the law. The walker, which we affectionately call “The Harley”, is a loan from C’s daycare.
Moving on:
Baby walkers have resulted in serious injuries. Falls down stairs in baby walkers are the greatest cause of head injuries for children under the age of two, according to studies done for Health Canada (…) There is also an increased risk of your baby being burnt by previously inaccessible objects (…) Thirdly, it allows her to reach household poisons, such as perfume, mouthwash or alcohol, left at a previously safe level.
Oh please. Canadian children are wimps. C has so far managed to tilt over a couple of chairs, nearly knock down a tower fan, topple a bunch of gardening equipment on top of his head, eat the pebbles out of a plant pot and nearly break every bottle in my sister’s perfume collection. I’m glad to say so far he’s unharmed.
What, there’s more?
But, remember, studies indicate that walkers do not help babies learn to walk and can actually lead to delays in child development, so there’s really no benefit to using a baby walker.
Delays in child development? Nonsense. If my boy can stand on his own, crawl at 60 kph, wave hello, juggle 4 toys at once and say “ba-ba” in three languages while being a heavy walker user, I don’t want to imagine what he’d been doing if his development were not so severely delayed. Running off to join the Cirque du Soleil?
Also, about that “there’s really no benefit to using a baby walker”, what about the part when I get to actually sit down and type this while C is systematically destroying the living room? My hands are free! He’s having a great time! I call that a benefit.
If you have a baby walker, Health Canada strongly suggests that you discard it. Make sure you remove the wheels so that it will not place an infant at risk if someone else retrieves it.
OK, Health Canada. I will discard my walker (well, return it to its rightful owners) if you come over here and entertain my very energetic boy for 30 minutes at a time so I can get on with all the things I have to do. What do you say? You’re not coming? Oh, of course: it is my duty to look after C hand and foot while also making sure laundry gets done, bottles get sterilised, and texts get edited in time. How selfish of me to put my son in such grave danger so I can re-stock his diaper bag.
Gosh. I’m such a bad mother. I guess I’ll never be allowed to enter Canada.
Babywalkers are not exactly forbidden in Denmark (something your Dane should know about) but you are considered a bad parent if you have one and let your child use it :P We got one from my parents in law and my mother was outraged, I don’t care, Q is happy and pulling on curtains, picking out DVDs and chewing on the corner of our couch, something that is only possibly in the walker as he can only crawl/push himself backwards
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ofthesea Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 4:08 am
I realised this was a no-no in Denmark when my mother in law (who is a physiotherapist for kids) pulled a face when I mentioned that C had used a walker. But she’s so lovely, and Danish, and polite, she never said anything! ;)
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Just thought I’d add that Health Canada also recommends that if you find a walker for sale (say in a second hand store or at a yard sale) you should destroy it. LMAO. Can you imagine watching some lunatic bashing apart a walker in the middle of the road, in front of a yard sale. Ha ha ha!
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Our first child Amelia never even sat in the baby walker we bought especially for her and our 2nd born Freddie loved it and walked freely 4 months before our daughter so I personally think peoples opinions are too strong against using baby walkers. Each to their own.
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If you’re actually keeping an eye on your child, they won’t go down the stairs in their walker. Also, my kid is now 22 months old and he uses anything and everything he can as a step stool. So whether or not walkers are illegal in Canada (I’m Canadian), my kid is going to find trouble. I WISH we could have walkers here. Then maybe my son wouldn’t of taken 16 months to start walking.
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ofthesea Reply:
March 14th, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Well, the Canadian law-makers clearly believe you’re looking anywhere except after your kids! ;)
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I live in Canada and had no idea about this law…what the fuck?
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ofthesea Reply:
February 24th, 2011 at 12:52 pm
You’ve been missing out on the fun!
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Muahahaha! I found one. Well actually, I had one all along and unwittingly lent it out before H was big enough to use it. So I’ve un-lent it and she is busily breaking all sorts of Canadian safety laws now. I hope the Mounties don’t find us outlaws.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 29th, 2010 at 7:34 am
Success and awesomeness!
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So funny. I’m Canadian and the “no walkers” law always makes me roll my eyes. I had one as a baby and became quite adept at “surfing” my parents’ stairs in it without hitting my head and getting irreparable brain damage. My Dad actually smuggled one in from the States after my older sister had her 1st baby and it’s made it through her 3 and now onto my son without any of them dying either!
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ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 10:55 am
An outlaw Canadian! What’s not to love??? <3
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ahahahahahaha! If you ever come visit me you’ll have to ensure you don’t even have pictures of this on your laptop! What’s really funny is that they haven’t yet banned jolly jumpers. Seriously, you can slingshot your kid while hanging them precariously from a rickety old doorframe, but you can’t have a walker.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 19th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
That’s why I’m postponing my Canadian invasion until C walks properly!
..and heck, maybe I can make a few extra bucks dealing walker porn!
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sarah vichick Reply:
November 18th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Haha! My mind went straight to the jolly jumpers too! And frankly my children hit their heads more often outside of a walker than in. What’s next? Ban the pouch carriers and force moms to actually hold their babies with their arms? One could drop a baby on their head. On a glass left on the floor. And baby could get a right nice cut on the back of her pretty blonde head. And bleed. Of course had she been in a walker that never would have happened! (She only fell a few inches. I was sitting on the floor cross legged and tried to stand with her in my arms. It didn’t go as I had planned. I too am a crap mom!)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 9:47 am
You are the poster child of the reason why moms should be STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from carrying their own children. The potential for injury is mind boggling!!
It’s time to make a law.
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Oh what ever my two walkers are the ONLY things that gave me any sanity when my two started feeling the need to be mobile. So I kept them from stairs and let them race around as if it was Indy 500 Wednesdays :)
You are hilarious
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ofthesea Reply:
August 16th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Don’t even think of saying that in Canada or they’ll throw you in jail!
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Keep them coming! Wow you made me laugh with this one!
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mofthesea Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Will do :) Promise you won’t let my bad parenting discourage you from having a baby yourself. I’ll make you look good!
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