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Reason #12 – Can you say paparazzi?
Reason #12 – Can you say paparazzi?
May 30(Apologies in advance, but the pedant in me will torture me if I don’t do this right.)
When it comes to C, I am a cold-hearted paparazza.
(Happy now, Ms. Webster?)
As of today C has never had any “accident” so serious that I couldn’t snap a few pictures before coming to the rescue. This, of course, puts me in the same level of baseness as the tabloid paparazzi who photographed Lady Di’s car crash instead of trying to help. They are building a new circle in hell for the likes of us.
Actually, I have very few pictures of C crying. The thinker in me says this could mean that the “emergencies” were more in the eye of the beholder (i.e. my mother) and that C was probably finding the rumpus a lot of fun.
Obviously C has no notion of danger yet, unless “a notion” means “being irresistibly attracted to it.” Like every baby on Earth, he’ll make a beeline for the unprotected outlet, the forgotten glass, the only plant in the whole garden that can be a little poisonous. Whenever this happens, I run like the wind.
For my camera.
It’s not like I’m going to let him fall headfirst from a great height…
… or get mauled by a wildcat…
…or get buried under an avalanche…
…or ever, EVER, stick a body part into an outlet.
My mother doesn’t mind saying that I’m a terrible terrible person for allowing him to come “that close” to danger. Call me blasé (isn’t that the whole point of this blog?) but I subscribe to what another blogging mom* wrote somewhere: there’s no cause for real concern unless there is blood or fire. If/when that day comes, I’m sure I won’t go anywhere near the camera.
I’d hate it to get spoiled.
(In case anyone wonders why I bother to take these pictures at all, it’s because I am starting to stock up on images for my upcoming book, “Bad Parenting 101 – what your parents wish they had not done when raising you.” Coming up to Amazon soon.)
* I SWEAR I will credit properly as soon as I remember who and where. Now get off my case, Ms. Webster!
Look, a new thread! We will have to start emailing soon, or none of your comments pages will make any sense to anyone trying to read along from home.
And not only do I remember Elizabeth Smart from the first time around, but I was also listening to a story about her on the radio a few weeks ago, so really, it’s just like I’m wallowing around in your brain somehow.
I’ll try not to bump into anything while I’m here.
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:38 am
So that’s why my thoughts are all a bit off kilter!
“Send me your pillow, the one that you dream on”
and
“My love, my darling, do you hear me where you sleep”?
and…
OOH did you say email? Is that a DATE?
*extra glad I wore the dress today*
[Reply to this]
Nigel Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Dammit, I’m completely underdressed for an email date.
Now where did I leave my mariachi pants?
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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I am swooning so hard now that I have fallen into a new comment thread.
That’s power, baby.
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:22 am
You make me feel like Elizabeth Smart.
Come on over.
I can handle 4 more kids.
[Reply to this]
Nigel Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Elizabeth Smart reference?
I must have you.
Because that is all sorts of awesome.
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:29 am
OK. You know Smart?
“Smitten” does NOT begin to describe it.
I think I am now completely smitten with you.
Fair warning!
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 9:07 am
You said “smitten”! One of my favourite words.
Now all you have to do is say “miffed” and I’ll be down for the count!
[Reply to this]
Nigel Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 9:45 am
If I can’t find a way to work the word into our conversation here, will you be miffed at me?
Oh, wait.
Nevermind.
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 10:03 am
*Smitten*