Reason #15 – I’d rather read a cheap paperback than look at my amazing child
Reason #15 – I’d rather read a cheap paperback than look at my amazing child
Jun 05Breakfast time. My mother is feeding C his cereal (of her own initiative) while I try to finish the fourth of “Miss Marple’s 13 mysteries” over a cup of coffee.
(The butler was murdered! But who did it?)
Mother: “Oh, look, isn’t he the sweetest thing?”
Me: “Yes, I love him with his face full of cereal, so cute!”
(Everyone thought it was the cook, who had a grudge against the butler.)
Mother: “They grow so fast!”
Me: “Don’t tell me.”
(But the cook had an airtight alibi, as did the gardener. And the maid. And even the driver.)
Mother: “You should really make the most of him now, before he grows.”
Me: “Mm-hm.”
(One of them was lying, and Miss Marple figured it out. Nobody would have guessed it, but the killer was…)
Mother: “No, I mean it, LOOK AT HIM. You’d rather read than watch your wonderful son!”
Me: “[expletive]!!!” (Miss Marple may soon have a new murder mystery to solve, if you know what I mean.)
Yes, I know they grow fast, and yes, he is the most perfect thing in creation, and yes, nothing could be cuter than C drenched in cereal, except maybe C drenched in soup.
But is it really too much to ask for three minutes to find out who the heck killed the butler???
Let this old lady show you how it’s done.
When mom starts in with the “Ooh isn’t he precious” and “They grow so fast” crap you feign a belly ache. “Ooh I don’t what I ate. Can you look after him while I make a trip to the lavatory? I might be a while.” What grandmother could turn that down? Then grab your book/laptop/iphone and head for the potty.
I guarantee at least 20 minutes uninterrupted quiet time before she starts asking through the door, “You OK in there, honey? You want me to get the Pepto Bysmol for you?”
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ofthesea Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Great idea! Alas, my mom is not so easily fooled.
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With my first, I worked away from home and only got to see my son about 3 waking hours a day plus weekends. I soaked him up and was sitting with him and playing with him or otherwise caring for him for most of our time together. I did other stuff when he went to sleep; luckily he was always an excellent sleeper.
By the time I had my second son, I was a work-part-time-at-home mom and now I’ve turned into a work-at-home-mom, so I get to soak in their beautiful faces much more frequently. I feel bad sometimes for my second because I just don’t get down and play with him every single second he’s awake. I’m on my laptop while they’re playing (or running around destroying things or injuring themselves) more than I’d care to admit.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Dang… I work away from home AND I still “get enough” of C’s lovely face! No wonder I’m writing this!
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