I took a semester of Judo in college back in ’94, and I never expected to use it again in my life. Turns out it’s the perfect martial art for dealing with an 8-month-old with a mind of his own and the strength of a Shetland pony.
When I learned this hold they told me its name is Kagato Jime, but these days I like to call it “I’ll get that diaper on you if it’s the last thing I do.”
If trying to be nice while I dress him doesn’t work, I usually resort to the good old Waki Gatame, or “Do you really prefer a twisted arm than wearing this t-shirt?”
Daily routines, such as brushing teeth and taking vitamins, go really smoothly thanks to Kataha Jime, also known as “Open your mouth or I’ll give you a reason to do it.”
C has really shown a knack for Judo, and since he enjoys it so much (ahem) we indulge in a wrestling match nearly every night. Normally he crawls, shakes, shimmies and rolls to stay awake for as long as possible, so I have to immobilize him long enough for him to fall asleep and stay asleep. I’ve heard other mothers resort to lullabies or rocking chairs to make their babies drowsy, but I much prefer to use Yoko Shiho Gatame, which in this house goes by “Sleep tight, little boy.”
(If my mother ever catches me doing any of these to the boy she’ll call the cops. Please don’t tell her.)
Thanks to the unsuspecting Elgin Judo Club for the first three images. The last one comes from (I kid you not) a site called Judo for Parents. Does that mean I’m not the only one?
24 Comments
OMG this was too funny! I can relate but I didn’t take judo. I guess my moves are more impromptu. LoL
It’s never too late to learn! ;)
lol – I never did Judo but I have done Karate and Ninjitsu for several years and I find myself using it on not only my worm of an 8 month old son but also when the cat needs it’s nails clipped…. does that make me a bad mom AND a bad petowner?
Awww, I remember when C was our “Orm”… later to be nicknamed Ormers, Ormit and Ormington.
Danish is impossible to learn, but a lot of fun to misuse!
Obviously, as a male, I am not a mom. But I have been doing Judo for years, and you’re right, it is a great way of suppressing/controlling aggressive children without harming them.
Our class is a mixed class – children share the mat with the adults, even if they don’t fight together – and there’s a few parent/child combinations on the mat. It seems like a great idea to me, and I know that if I ever have children, that’ll be first on the list once they reach a suitable age.
Of course, the downside is that they’ll know a way out the yoko shiho gatame…
Dang! Is there a better way to lock them down then?
i greatly enjoyed this post. the advice would have come in handy when my then three year old refused to take her pneumonia medicine. tne wrestling matches that ensued were epic. i have never felt as horrible about restraining her as i did then. though many times have come close:) ah, the masichism that is parenting:) This post will no doubt come in handy with my second one (affectionately called “Hank the Tank”) who weighs in at 20 lb at 5 mo.
It will come in handy again. Maybe I should update it with the moves I use now on my little ox!
PS: Hank the Tank? LOVE IT!!!!!
New Bad Mom Post:Reason #5 – I use Judo holds on a toddler. Read it now! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/5-i-use-…
Weird! I took the captcha off so that people wouldn’t have any more trouble commenting. You can always email me at jenrowe16@gmail.com :)
JeninCanada recently posted Poverty and Diabetes- BFF
It was not the captcha – I could not even find where to click to leave a comment!
“Turns out it’s the perfect martial art for dealing with an 8-month-old with a mind of his own and the strength of a Shetland pony.” LMAO This is my son. He’s now four. I really need to look into Judo.
I cannot recommend it enough.
Glad to see this old post got some love! It remains one of my favourites. :)
Also, what is with your blog? I cannot leave a comment anywhere!
This is just brilliant! How come such an effective way to put kids to sleep is not longer discussed in the parenting books?
Maybe I should start writing one! “Judo for Parents – All you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask!”
Now those are some moves I could have used when my kids were little – I think I might have had to use one of the last ones last year – my son had to get stitches in his leg and they asked me to hold my 8 year old down…fair warning – they are a feisty lot – scrappy for their size.
Mellisa recently posted I Just Want One More Birthday This Year
Ooof, C is not yet 1, and he already gives as good as he gets!
HA! I needed these judo moves when my 3yo daughter was going through the “there’s no way you’re putting that diaper on me” stage! We still have issues with teeth brushing. For a while we just used her fear of spider webs against her and told her that if she didn’t brush spider webs would grow in her mouth…that’s good parenting right?!?
I’m writing that down in case I need to persuade C to brush his teeth! ;)
Well, if I didn’t know better I would swear the child you are describing is my youngest grand-daughter. :). I will send a copy of this to my daughter. I especially like the pin ‘em til they drop, er, I mean sleep one. Lots of laughs here, and a few wry faces! Thanks, Angela
Angela recently posted Cruisin’ The Drive Thru
Oh WOW, how I wish my mom was that kind of grandma! I swear she’ll murder me till I’m dead if she ever finds out I do this.
Glad you enjoyed, hope to see you again soon!
BWAHHAHAHAHAH!
No, you are so not the only one. I recall holding my son down with my legs to immobilize him while I changed his diaper during one phase. And medicine … yeah, the position my aunt (peds nurse) taught me was remarkably similar to the illustration. Basically, this med is going in you, pick: nose or mouth.
Thanks muchly for the laugh – people around here are getting to know, oh, she’s reading THAT blog when we hear her laugh alone in her office.
Hey, long time no hear!
Just popped by to see what was new at your place, and oo-wee, you put me to shame with your incredible parenting skillzzz.
I think I’ll celebrate hitting half a century with Reason#50 – I’ll never be as cool as Melanie. I’m sure C will agree once he realises what you are up to! XD
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[...] personal favourite that slipped under everyone’s radar is Reason #5 – I use Judo holds on a toddler . First, because it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE that I use Judo on the tot, and second because it took me so [...]