“I gave back as good as I got” – Bad Babysitter Confession

“I gave back as good as I got” – Bad Babysitter Confession

Aug 08

This week, a babysitter takes an eye for an eye.

—

Leola writes,

I babysit for a 2 year old boy everyday while his mother gallivants runs errands. This mother thinks her children are perfect angels, but they are really spoiled and undisciplined because she is a pushover sweet and understanding.

So little Bedford was acting up one day and I kindly told him to stop screaming. But instead of listening to me, Bedford took his bottle of water and sprayed it into my face.

I feel really bad, because it was not a mature thing to do, but I just couldn’t help myself: I sprayed water right back at him. The look on his face was priceless!

He cried… but he listened to me for the rest of the day.

Dear Leola,

I am having a hard time forgiving you… because I am laughing so much picturing the little shit’s face when you squirted him!

Now seriously, your letter brings up several interesting issues.

First: Babysitters provide an invaluable service to society, looking after the brats little angels of this world so their moms can sip cocktails and write on their blogs work. I should know. I’d be dead without my amazing daycare provider.

Yet our expectations of sitters and daycarers are even higher than the already ridiculous ones placed on moms: you must be entertaining and educational, cheerful and patient, nurturing and affectionate, and give your best daily to a bunch of strange kids who can come and go at a moment’s notice.

Often the only thing stopping me from murdering C is the fact that he is mine, and I have no idea how you can take any kind of crap from a strange kid.

Babysitters of the world, I salute you.

I usually fight the moms’ corner, but this time I will turn against my own to side with you. Educating a kid is the parent’s job, not the sitter’s, carer’s or teacher’s. Your job is keeping the little shits alive, entertained and fed all day long, not to sort out their issues with authority, and especially not to be a helpless victim of their uncontrolled little tempers.

It is a fine line to walk, and sitters walk it with grace and aplomb every day.

Finally: what you did is actually recommended by some experts in the field, not that I know much about it – after all, I am merely a mom. But by mirroring Bedford’s annoying conduct and administering a negative consequence you may have helped him realise how other people experience his actions, and hopefully curbed his aggressive behaviour.

Then again, he might have learned nothing, but at least you got a little revenge.

It is a testament to my bad parenting that I would totally approve if you did something like that to my own Blessed Child – provided that he deserved it, of course. Just make sure you know where to stop: water spritzing is OK, hair pulling should be taken on a case-by-case basis, and wood blocks should not ever be thrown back at a kid unless you are looking for a lawsuit.

Now go on and keep being a rocking babysitter. Are you free this Friday night? I might have a little job for you!

You are forgiven,

M

—

Do you want your confession to be featured here? Would you like some words of forgiveness? Do you just need to let off steam? The Confession Booth is available 24/7.

Forgiveness guaranteed.

Small print:

Confessions may be edited for length (and grammar and spelling, because I’m a stickler.) All real names will be changed for Victorian-era pseudonyms, to make everyone sound classier.

While I do not necessarily encourage repeating any of the behaviours confessed, I will not blame anybody who sees them as “tips” rather than no-nos.

This column is called ‘Bad Mom Confessions’ for the sake of brevity and consistency, but I must stress that dads, grandparents and carers of all sorts are most welcome to use the Confession Booth.