“I play mind tricks on my son” – Bad Mom Confessions

“I play mind tricks on my son” – Bad Mom Confessions

Aug 01

This week, a mom uses her evil mind control over her kid.

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Arminta writes,

I play mind tricks on my son.  Aloysius will come up to me and ask to watch some terribly annoying show like Dora.  I hate Dora.  So what do I do?  I answer “Sure, we can watch Dora in just a little bit.” Then I wander around humming the theme song to some other not-quite-as-annoying cartoon.

Before you know it, Aloysius wants to watch the show I’ve been humming instead!  Am I totally evil?

Dear Arminta,

let me get this straight:  you are telling me that instead of satisfying your son’s innocent wish for an incredibly annoying highly educational show, you manipulate him into thinking he actually wants to see one more to your liking?

Arminta, you are a genius. A hero. A Jedi mistress!

Any mother who manages to get what she wants – instead of giving in to what her kid wants – without facing a shitstorm of tears, kicks and tantrums, is my personal idol and role model. You should write a book, do a seminar and tour the world spreading your amazing child mind bending techniques.

And when your Jedi mind tricks bring you fame and fortune, remember those who knew you before you made it big!

Admiringly,

M

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Forgiveness guaranteed.

Small print:

Confessions may be edited for length (and grammar and spelling, because I’m a stickler.) All real names will be changed for Victorian-era pseudonyms, to make everyone sound classier.

While I do not necessarily encourage repeating any of the behaviours confessed, I will not blame anybody who sees them as “tips” rather than no-nos.

This column is called ‘Bad Mom Confessions’ for the sake of brevity and consistency, but I must stress that dads, grandparents and carers of all sorts are most welcome to use the Confession Booth.