“I smoke near my kid” – Bad Mom Confessions
“I smoke near my kid” – Bad Mom Confessions
Jul 25This week, a mom takes a few liberties on a national holiday.
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Caldonia writes,
I was a little tipsy at a Fourth of July family picnic, and I took two drags of a cigarette while holding my temper-tantrum-throwing son.
Dear Caldonia,
Ah, you have touched a nerve. While I am willing to forgive reckless driving, drug abuse and early exposure to porn, I have a personal grudge against smoking.
Ewww, smoking.
It has taken a lot of soul searching to figure out why I find it worse to smoke near your kid than to get shitfaced drunk while looking after them. If you think about it, both entail a certain risk, and both are pretty clear indicators of poor parenting. And both are fun, grown-up activities that we are reluctant to give up for the little shits our beloved children.
But ugh, smoking. I’d bitch slap you if you smoked near me, let alone my kid. God knows I have a hard time using public transport in Europe because of this intolerance of mine.
Still, this seems more of my tolerance problem than your mothering problem. Judging by the way you tell it, this was a totally out-of-character thing for you, and frankly, woman, a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do – especially when dealing with tantrums! (Goodness knows the Blessed One gets them so bad sometimes I would not be above shooting up just to get away from the annoyance.)
So as promised, you are forgiven, forgiven, forgiven.
Just try not to do it EVER AGAIN too often, ‘kay? And especially not where I can see you!
Now let’s go get a drink and forget about all of this.
M
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Do you want your confession to be featured here? Would you like some words of forgiveness? Do you just need to let off steam? The Confession Booth is available 24/7.
Small print:
Confessions may be edited for length (and grammar and spelling, because I’m a stickler.) All real names will be changed for Victorian-era pseudonyms, to make everyone sound classier.
While I do not necessarily encourage repeating any of the behaviours confessed, I will not blame anybody who sees them as “tips” rather than no-nos.
This column is called ‘Bad Mom Confessions’ for the sake of brevity and consistency, but I must stress that dads, grandparents and carers of all sorts are most welcome to use the Confession Booth.
Shame shame judgy mcjudgerson…as a self proclaimed “crap mom” it isn’t fair to say that this mother is…smoking is good for no one but a good mother, even one who smokes, is aware of that and will avoid exposing their children to it…not always avoidable. It isn;t even avoidable in public, and if she is aware that it should be avoided and tries then she is trying. That is all any of us can do…because what the hell do any of us know, as a mother or otherwise. :)
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ofthesea Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 11:25 pm
You are absolutely right, and I’m aware I’ve forgiven worse things without batting an eyelash. But I guess we all have buttons, and this is one of mine!
Still, she is doing all she can, and that is why she is forgiven, just like the rest of us.
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Jennifer Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Ok I am ready for that drink now. :)
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ofthesea Reply:
July 27th, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Chardonnay OK? *pouring more $4 Purple Moon*
Not using a car seat (actually VERY against the law.), drinking wine while nursing, kids spraying themselves with chemicals. . . those are ok when this isn’t?!?!? I don’t smoke. I hate it. My son lectures every smoking person he meets. That said, when my kids (Kid. Only one dares.) throw tantrums, I would do anything, take almost anything, to make my heart slow down and the red to clear from my eyes. Especially when there are people sitting there, judging you and your child for throwing said tantrum.
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ofthesea Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 11:26 pm
You have a very good point about clearing the red – a few puffs of smoke is a lot less bad than a kid being flung off a balcony!
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Oh, man, it wasn’t even your own cigarette? Are you Catholic? Because you seem pretty guilty…. and I am as well…. and I’d feel guilty too.
Two drags does a leathery-faced, smoky, dead-at-forty with asthmatic kids NOT make.
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ofthesea Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Hear hear!
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Wow, I saw the headline in my inbox and thought this was your own confession — aaaand, had the same reaction that you did. Was going to threaten deletion from my twitter and facebook accounts etc. if you lit up again. I will cut the stranger a tiny bit more slack. “A couple of drags” from a lets-assume-bummed-off-someone-else cig? Eh, fine. Carry on.
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ofthesea Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
It IS quite the trigger, isn’t it? I’ve certainly forgiven worse things without batting an eyelid, but this is the one that makes my blood boil.
Kinda reminds me of the old car seat kerfuffle… foof that was a fun one!
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Awwe c’mon! For the record I do not smoke and never have, but this was NOTHING!! Less censure please, for a teeny weeny slip up. Jeez! If that’s the worse you do round your kid you are doing well, so chill and don’t beat yourself up about it!
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ofthesea Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I know, I know. Isn’t it funny how you sometimes don’t mind if someone murders bunnies for fun, but will NOT forgive if they don’t recycle?
That’s me. Ms. Ethical Priorities.
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