Reason #101 – My son doesn’t miss me
Reason #101 – My son doesn’t miss me
Oct 19Sometimes epiphanies come at odd times, and they sound like Lloyd Weber hits.
C, Ms. Lilly, Adi and I were just at a neighbourhood party, where C was charming the pants (and the breadsticks) off everyone in sight. Adi and Ms. Lilly started telling about last Sunday’s drama: they left to visit a relative and left me and C at home. Apparently they both had to fight back tears as they walked away from the house and heard me C bawling after them, “Noooo! Don’t leave me!”
We then started joking about how C is such a little tyrant that he always wants to have all three of us at his beck and call. And then the epiphany came.
“It’s crazy how he wails whenever he sees Ms. Lilly leave the house without him, even if Adi and I stay with him.”
“Oh, and the other day he banged at the bathroom door until Adi finished her shower and came back out, in spite of Ms. Lilly’s and my attempts to divert him.”
And then…
Have you ever heard an uncomfortable silence?
It starts like this:
“Funny, he doesn’t really fuss when I leave him at daycare in the morning. Does he cry when I leave him with you two?”
…
…
…
*tumbleweed*
I finally got up and brought everyone more wine – and another breadstick for C – in the vain hopes of dispelling the shame of publicly realising that my son cries for Ms. Lilly and Adi, but he does not cry for me.
Bite me, Argentina.
With epiphanies like these, who needs enemies?
I have only just discovered this blog, so please excuse my lateness to this party;
My son doesn’t miss me either. I went away with my mother earlier in the year for a weekend, and my son (2.5 years) didn’t ask his father once about where I was, in fact, he didn’t mention me at all.
Had it been the other way round however, the heavens would have moved to get that boys father back to him. Ho hum lol
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
March 31st, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Welcome! Hope to see you again soon.
Isn’t it insulting when they ignore us? Yet now that we moved to California I’ve become indispensable to him, and it is DRIVING ME NUTS.
Lose-lose, I say.
[Reply to this]
I chose to believe it’s better that way. V was home with me for a year, then my husband took 9 mos off to stay with her. The daycare thought she’d be a total PITA because she was so old, but I swear, she barely tossed a wave over her shoulder when I dropped her off.
And, I’d still rather that than a shoulder full of snot and tears.
Neeroc recently posted Road. Hockey. Showdown.
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 27th, 2010 at 8:12 am
You’ve got an independent little girl there! She’ll be backpacking her way through South East Asia before she’s 5! :D
[Reply to this]
You have to realize that it does not mean that he does not miss you. He is simply more trusting of you and the fact that you will return to him. He knows you will be back. He may not be so sure about the others.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Always Check the Spout First!
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 25th, 2010 at 9:59 am
I hope you’re right, because at the moment it’s not making me look very good…
[Reply to this]
sweet jesus i wish my kid wouldn’t miss me when i left! well, the older two don’t give a rat’s ass, but my youngest (is 3.5) and can’t stand to be apart from mama for too long. and then when i get back, he tells me about how sad he was and how he cried for me, and grandma had to hug him. the little manipulative bastard. LOL. (i am joking of course. but not really).
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 25th, 2010 at 10:00 am
My word, that’s a wily kid! Thank god for grandma’s hugs so you can have some time away from the little shadow!
[Reply to this]
I used to wonder what it was that the other Mother’s at ALL of my kids schools did that I wasn’t doing – while there kids were bawling their heads off for their Mother’s – my kids were fine. They gave me a hug and kiss and ran away to play. I choose to believe that I fully prepared them and not the alternative – that they just didn’t miss me. :)
Mellisa recently posted Pass it on Parenting-
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 25th, 2010 at 10:01 am
Let’s believe that! We are preparing our kids for independent life! They will be grateful someday.. if only they can remember WHO they should thank! ;)
[Reply to this]
Hahaha! It’s funny because I used to deal with the exact opposite problem. My little one, from birth to about five months, would wail her head off whenever I was out of sight. While I was flattered by her affection for me, it also came at a steep price, namely my ability to go places during her waking hours. :( She is mostly better now, thankfully.
-Jessica
Jessica recently posted Ten Reasons Why I Desperately Need a Running Stroller
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 22nd, 2010 at 8:40 am
Yeah – my situation is a bit insulting, but also very convenient! I’m not sure I’d want it the other way around.
[Reply to this]
He loves you the most and don’t forget it!
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 21st, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Awww, you just reminded me of a song I sing to C all the time!
I’m all sappy like that…
[Reply to this]
Wow! Your son is clever. He does not make a fuss if the people he is sure of coming back leave but all the others he has to bribe in coming back. A real clever guy!
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Wow. You have nailed it! I feel so much better now!
[Reply to this]
Lloyd Weber and tumbleweeds.
You’re so perfect.
CDG recently posted I Just Hate That
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
*blush*
*twist hem of shirt*
*shuffle feet*
[Reply to this]
Oh sweetie… Your time will come, believe me. Children are fickle like this. And when you have to walk away from that sweet face, with the tears pouring down, you will miss this day.
Hugs.
Kelsey recently posted Gnarly Shark Bite
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Damn, you have a point there! I shall count the blessings of my detachment parenting.
[Reply to this]
Ha ha ha — great post, thanks for my first laugh of the day!
Yes, first laught of the day at 4 PM….
Brahm (alfred lives here) recently posted Blog Awards Round 2 Were a finalist!
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Oh dear – one of those days?
Mine went the other way around: in a great mood in the morning, and now with the mean reds. But your comment brightened me up!
[Reply to this]
Lol, yeah I would cry from happiness now if all 4 were to leave!
[Reply to this]
My oldest was like that. Her first day of daycare she skipped off and left me sobbing. The other three, not so lucky. They freak when I close the bathroom door.
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 10:58 am
Well, in all fairness, I have to say I have never sobbed when HE leaves…
[Reply to this]