Reason #106 – I laugh at my son’s Cries of Despair
Reason #106 – I laugh at my son’s Cries of Despair
Nov 03C is crying his eyes out, and I am doubled over laughing while my mom berates me.
“Don’t laugh, dammit! Can’t you see he’s in distress?”
*more helpless laughter*
“You are such a bad, mean mother! STOP LAUGHING AT THE CHILD!”
*hooting, coughing, choking laughter*
Seriously, how can I not laugh? Just look at this!
All this time I thought I had been sending C to daycare, but these days it has become clear to me that he is actually attending acting school, and he has decided to specialise on High Drama.
The cue for his signature performance is the word “no”.
Once this key part of the script has been uttered by the actress playing the role of “Mama” (or her understudy,) C will very carefully sit on the floor, and slo-o-o-o-wly lie down till he’s horizontal. Only then will he start crying in the most heartbreaking tones, taking an occasional look around to gauge his effect, and raising the pitch of his weeping if he feels his audience is not fully engaged.
The audience, usually composed of me, tends to sit down and laugh.
I seriously don’t know how my mom expects me not to crack up. C is like a baby William Shatner! The Razzies were invented for this very kind of performance!
“Is this a dagger I see before me?”
“No”
*kneel*
*sit down*
*lean back on elbows*
*carefully rest head on floor*
*and now, with feeling:*
“WAAAAH! WOE IS ME! MISERY! DESPONDENCY! DESPAAAAAAAIR!”
Also, I don’t know how I am supposed to survive the terrible 2s, 3s, 4s and 17s if I don’t start laughing now.
Any tips on how to change my little thespian’s choice of play? Beckett, anyone?
I think you are spot on here…I used to throw “temper tantrums” when I was little and for a awhile they worked but eventually my parents did their best to ignore me and finally told me “NO!” Shortly after that new style of parenting that I wasn’t used to, I stopped having fits to get my way. I’m pretty sure I went on to try the guilt method of getting my way but there was no way I could compete with my mother’s guilt trips; she was the master of making me feel guilty for something that I did or didn’t do that “disappointed” her.
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My 5 year old has now gotten to the point where crying on cue doesn’t work anymore so when the dredded “no” crosses my lips, he has to inflict pain on himself to get the tears going… he will throw himself down on the floor with such vigour that I actually think he might have a plan B as a career in wrestling. So, as soon as theres pain, theres believable crocodile tears… And it generally only last about a minute or 2 as I tend to leave the room and find something better to do that stand there and watch him wiggle around the floor like a worm being electricuted.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Oh no! A method actor!
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I resist the urge to laugh when my child falls on her face. As long as no bones are broken…what’s the big deal? OMG BADDDDDD MOMMY.
Hanna recently posted Getting older- getting over
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ofthesea Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Baaaad Mommy! Everyone knows good mommies never laugh! NEVER!
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OH how I love this post – never heard this phase described this way but I love it just the same…so happy that all of my kids learned very early that this kind of behavior would be laughed at and mocked by me…have you seen that commercial where the mom throws her best fit in the grocery store? It’s priceless!!
Thought that you might like to check it out:
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Best. Ad. Ever.
I am going to start rehearsing NOW!
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Be prepared. You will laugh and struggle not to laugh during his crying and screaming….for a lonnnnnnnnggggggg time.
My favorite moment? When I stupidly agreed to let the hair dresser set the barber clippers on “zero” and watched her buzz him bald.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
I hope you got it on tape! Is it on youtube yet? ;)
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The poor child doesn’t realize he should save up all that energy for begging food from people!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
That’s the fun part – he could have it SO MUCH EASIER if he’d just go bother someone else! ;)
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I adore how he sets the scene. ADORE!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
You gotta love a child with a sense for drama. But you know this!
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Don’t sell your son short with a Razzie- he is young! And yet he has already mastered the William Shatner school of acting. Shatner, mind you has had a very long and prosperous (ha!) career. C has time to hone his skills. Actually, watch out. If he is full on Streep by the time he’s 5- you’ve got real problems.
ilanarose recently posted Crying It Out
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
As long as he does not go for method acting…
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My 22 month old son likes to look at himself in the mirror while he cries. Naturally, this makes me have a laughing fit!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
We should put them together and film them. That will go viral on youtube!
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I love babies with a sense of drama. As long as I can leave (Hey, I am a part time babysitter. Nothing is so good like parents coming home drunk at 5 in the morning and the babysitter had the kid in bed on time the evening before…) But wait over time his acting will become more diverse and will not be stuck in the drama part.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:59 pm
I look forward to diversity! Maybe a period piece sometime, then political satire, then a comedy of manners…
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Ohh I love the art of the demonstration!! Actually I’ve adapted that for use on the 10 and 7 year olds too. Works REALLY well done in a public place :)
“You call THAT a tantrum?”
“THIS is a tantrum!!”
Works a treat.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Why do I sense this will be reason #998?
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Laughing at Children’s Misery since 1999.
I’m particularly fond of the slow recline before the vocalization.
Sheer genius, that.
Also? Baby William Shatner?
Best. Image. Ever.
(PS: Bill, if you’re reading this? My love for you is undiminished, but I’m going to remember you as Denny Crane. M’kay?”)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
My son, the overactor.
And everyone knows the Mighty Shat is subscribed to my blog! He’s got it on Google reader, I’ve heard.
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anneisanne Reply:
November 4th, 2010 at 12:44 am
Maybe C can be the new spokebaby for Priceline when Shat steps down….
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
I like the way you think. I’ll have C’s agent shoot them an email! ;)
I am laughing hysterically right now! The word “no” provokes a similar reaction in the Bear, except he has no care for his corporeal body. He throws himself on the floor, often flailing, paying no heed to the objects around him. Maybe you can inspire C to do musicals instead of dramatic death scenes?
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Ah, but what you describe sounds like a real tantrum! C’s is more like performance art – I suspect he’s channelling some kid from daycare who throws proper tantrums.
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I love your blog posts, but think this is one of the best yet! My son is 18 months old, and you could easily be describing him! After my son slo-o-o-o-ly lies down, he looks to make sure he has an audience before he starts crying. My husband and I both bust out laughing every time!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Maybe we should teach them how to pass a hat afterwards!
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I remember when my kids went through the tantrum stage. I would laugh at them and say that is pathetic and say “this is how it should be done”. I would then lay down on the floor, scream, kick and wail about until my kid stopped their crying. They usually realized how ridiculous they looked and that they were failing at their own tantrum because mom could do it better…lol.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:56 pm
I wish I had your balls!
…come to think of it, by the time C starts throwing real tantrums I probably will.
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anneisanne Reply:
November 4th, 2010 at 12:41 am
BEST mom response, EVER!!!
A-M
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
*bow*
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anneisanne Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Well, I sort of meant Michelle Saunderson but you should just take it anyway!!
ofthesea Reply:
November 14th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
Hey, I assume that any and all praise that happens in my blog is directed at ME! ;)
C is a fan of Shakespeare, but I think I’d prefer Beckett. Baby drama lessons, free! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/reason-1...
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mommyk8 Reply:
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:14 pm
@Mofthesea Have you seen the baby learning Shakespeare from Brian Cox? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDMRzPiC…. So freaking cute.
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