Reason #108 – I don’t want to communicate with my son yet
Reason #108 – I don’t want to communicate with my son yet
Nov 08A beautiful blog tribemate* recently posted about teaching babies sign language so they can communicate before they actually have enough speech skills to do it the standard way. She’s been signing to her boy for a few months now, and he’s showing some results.
That is one lucky boy!
My own C will remain perfectly illiterate until the day he decides to start speaking, however distant that day may be. I have already made clear how I feel about early stimulation, and baby signing is going down the same path.
Which is none.
(None more black!)
I have a few reasons for not wanting to teach C sign language, all selfish and evil and bad-motherly:
1. C is already growing way too fast. He walked at 10 months, has baby barracuda teeth and molars like a 2 year-old, and wears size 3T pajamas. If the only baby-like trait he has left is that he cannot talk, so be it.
2. I really, honestly don’t want C to be able to tell me what he wants or needs or likes just yet. I enjoy laughing at his hilarious attempts at begging for food. Where’s the fun in seeing a baby sign for “milk” or “more”?
3. Come to think of it, the only thing I’d like to hear from C is what on Earth he needs to sleep through the night. But I suspect that requires such advanced signs that it’s not really going to happen before he goes to college.
4. I honestly believe it’s too much work C’s only job right now should be to potter around the world eating bugs, breaking vases, and earning the undying adoration of all who meet him.
5. The longest he can go without talking, the longest he can go without telling me how bad a mom I am!
* If you have to ask, you’ll never kno… OK, OK, here’s the explanation!
After my 2nd daughter was born, i was immediately all like “Say Mama! Say Mama!” and had to beg the first daughter to SHHHHHHH long enough for me say that. So finally I looked at my youngest and said ” Why am I begging you to talk? I cant get THIS ONE to shut up!”
and DEAR GOD your child has gorgeous eyes.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 22nd, 2010 at 8:28 pm
He does, doesn’t he?
Mine are shit brown.
If only I had a cent for every time someone gasped “Is he YOURS?”…
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I don’t care if someone wants to teach sign language to their kid or not. Don’t want to? Fine by me…it’s your kid. Makes no nevermind to me how other people raise their kids.
But…
Just to let everyone know my own experience. I started doing some baby signs with my daughter early on. To me the idea of understanding her earlier was appealing because I have absolutely no desire to hear a negative sound come out of my baby if it doesn’t have to. And not because I’m so compassionate…but because crying and whining are irritating and annoying. So…
It wasn’t hard to teach her at all & she caught on quick with milk first, and later with other feeding signs like more and all done. She’s 15 months now and signs about 10 words. But she can say almost 40 words as well (I have no idea why she talks so much. The pediatrician just said that she needs to forget about 30 words to be normal, haha).
The key to not delaying speech (so I hear/read) is to make sure that you are always saying the word when you’re signing and repeating it when they sign. (If they sign “milk”, don’t just give them milk, say “Do you want milk?” and then give it to them.)
My daughter can now also say all of the words that she signs, but she definitely couldn’t say them as early as she signed them. For me it’s been a major blessing. She looks adorable doing the little gestures and when you understand her she’s so excited and proud. She rarely ever cries, whines, or fusses anymore. And the peasants rejoiced!
But again, non-signing children are just as adorable, well-rounded, and loved. So, to each his own!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 8:31 am
Dang you, you make it sound so good I am almost tempted to give it a try!
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I remember learning sign language in kindergarten, which was cool and fun to do, but baby sign language? I dunno… All these people are getting their babies (and I mean infants) to learn how to read, too. Whatever happened to pre-school?
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I 100% completely agree with your stance on all of this! The society that we live in today tries to force kids to grow up way too fast! My kids are doing things and saying things that I didn’t even so much as knew existed until i was much older!!
How Does She Do It Mom recently posted Please Pardon This Interruption…
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
That’s why I keep C in a dark room and only speak to him once a day! ;)
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I was a preschool teacher for 6 years and a nanny. In most of the children I met it only discouraged them from actually talking, because they were already able to communicate what they wanted. The only sign I taught my son was “all done”. Sometimes he will eat a LOT of food and be sitting there forever and I would take him out (of the high chair) before he was done assuming that there couldn’t possibly be any more room for food in there OR he would wanna go play before he was full so he would fuss and fuss and I wanted him to understand that when he got down he was done.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
That’s a sing C will never make, even if he actually IS full. The boy is a bottomless pit.
I will go destitute when he hits the teenage years!
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I have not seen any studies on it, but I would think baby signing would just delay speech. I mean, why would a baby talk if they can get everything by signing. Just saying….
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Christmas is Fast Approaching- Gotta Get My Christmas Mojo
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
You make it suddenly sound attractive! Maybe I should teach him some signs, earn a few more years of relative silence?
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A lot of people told me about baby sign and made it seem like the greatest thing ever. I get frustrated easy and figured trying to teach Bear baby sign would be more traumatic then him having to wait a few extra minutes for Mommy to figure out what he wanted/needed!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
I think making the world a better place starts by minimising maternal frustration. If mama is stressed, nobody is happy!
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Yeah, my in laws tried to get us to teach our babies sign language too. What a bunch of nonsense. He’ll be talking soon enough and then you’ll be wondering when he will ever shut up again. The answer is, when he is 14.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
That late?
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What do you know! And I thought I was thew worst mommy for not teaching the sign language to my son? Hella awesome to read this, girl! Besides you’ll have enough time to do the ‘lost in babylation’ times up ahead heck sometimes my almost 4yrs old still confused me hahaha. Love the pics btw! He’s super adorable!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
He’s the cutest thing ever. With eyes like those, who needs speech? ;)
He’ll actually be DANGEROUS when he can actually order his minions around!
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