Reason #110 – I let my boy learn from his mistakes
Reason #110 – I let my boy learn from his mistakes
Nov 11Learning by repetition is supposedly the natural way we learn things, especially in the younger years: walking, talking, lying to doormen about your age.
My question is: how many times must a child do/see/experience something to learn the lesson in it?
When it comes to C and falling down, the answer seems to be “a lot.”
For example, during our recent beach trip we stayed at this gorgeous jungle bungalow (who, me bragging? Naah.)
Kindly notice the three steps between the path and the bungalow: the top one is covered in ceramic tile, the middle one is slippery polished wood and the bottom one is flat stone. Oh, and then there is a steep slope down both sides of the path. Child safety be damned.
Within half an hour of us reaching the bungalow, C fell down the steps.
Thank goodness we had an ambulance nurse at hand, because C nearly passed out from screaming and I nearly died with fright at the thought of what might have happened (when in fact he didn’t even get a flipping bruise.) You’d think the kid would wise up and stay the heck away from the steps, right?
Wrong.
C’s new favourite game became standing at the very edge of the bungalow, with his back turned to the steps, and wobbling. On purpose.
“Oooh mama! Woo! I think I’m gonna fall! Oooooh!”
After two days of swooping like a crazed eagle every 15 seconds to rescue a wobbly-on-purpose C from the Deathly Steps of Doom, I finally got sick of C’s favourite game. I grabbed him by the shoulders, looked into his eyes, and said very clearly: “Listen, fella: you know what happened to you on those steps. You’re no fool. If you fall, you fall – I am not gonna stop you.”
Then I turned my back on him and opened my much neglected Maigret book.
Guess what happened within the next 30 seconds.
People think I beat my beautiful son up, but the truth is so much worse: I let him learn from his own mistakes.
PS: Holy crap, am I becoming an ostrich? Whatever happened to me? That project has to be resurrected at once!!
Dude. Someone’s unnamed parent (mine) hasn’t figured this one out, and has a 33 year old with the maturity level that’s prob beneath your kid. So I’m giving you a gold ass star for this one! Let’s just say this one will save you lots of money on legal bills.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 14th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
I’ll probably even out with higher medical bills, tho… I’ll keep you posted on how it turns out.
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anneisanne Reply:
November 14th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Just to be clear, I’m not the 33 year old with legal problems. ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 9:42 am
I didn’t think you were even for one second!
Sadly I am reminded more of my husband by this than of my son. I finally learned to quit racing for the first aid kit at eveeery blood curdling scream from a stubbed toe. Or from banging his head on the light above the dining table — a light whose placement does NOT magically change, seeing as it is anchored to our ceiling.
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Brandy Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
hahahahahahaha. and more hahahahahaa. people are looking at me here at work and still Im hahahahaing
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My small boy often looks like the loser in a hobo hammer fight.
I figure this will likely continue well into his thirties, if the males in our family are indicator.
Hopefully the accusatory wailing and crocodile tears will have stopped by then.
Wait! Is that the parenting police sirens I hear in the distance?
Gotta go!
CDG recently posted Home-Spark in the Night
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Remember: there is a safe house for you here. I’ve got your new identity all sorted out!
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I have a 5 year old and he is constantly falling, walking into stuff and banging his toes.
Thank God, that they are relatively short, so they don’t fall very far. I have stopped reminding him of the previous time he did something or went somewhere where pain was the end result. Now, I just stand by with a hug, a kiss for the boo boo and a band aid.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
*sigh* Exactly. My warning him not to do it has as much effect as my totally ignoring him.
And there will always be kisses for the booboos!
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We have an ongoing joke in our house about kids having Brain Damage!! It seems that they can do things 100 times before they ever get that they are not supposed to! We laugh and blame it on the “brain damage” …check out Bill Cosby’s stand up comedy act on this ..it is freaking funnier than hell!!!
How Does She Do It Mom recently posted A Bikini- High Heels And 500 People Watching
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Bill Cosby, brain damage, yes ma’am! On my way to you tube!
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Yeah, I do this one all the time. Two boys, I have to, for my own sanity. And the looks I get from other moms, particularly those who have only girls, are priceless.
Jen recently posted Clear it out Now
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Do you also turn your back on them? It’s such a guilty pleasure!
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Jen Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Yes, yes I do. And it’s delightful. ;)
Jen recently posted Clear it out Now
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There is no other way for them to learn. I never worried about my daughter putting her finger on plugs, I just figured if she had one shock, she would learn, she wouldn´t die of it, right? Well, she never had the expected shock and she lost her attraction to those interesting holes on the walls.
Marilia recently posted A mother letting off steam
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Ah, but you have a girl. I’m sure that if C figures out how to get a shock out of an outlet he will do it until his hair is standing on end!
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I knew exactly what you mean. I think boys just like daring stuff, and they do not mind getting hurt. I remember when my son was that age and he would spin around the house like Taz until he bumped his head or fell down or something. The night always ended with him crying himself to sleep because he got hurt somehow. Now, he enjoys more structured danger like paintball…go figure.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Christmas is Fast Approaching- Gotta Get My Christmas Mojo
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ofthesea Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 7:47 am
It would be fine if he didn’t mind… it’s the heartbreaking cries of “how could you let this happen to me?” that drive me up the walls!
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