Reason #112 – I went to New York and all C got was a lousy t-shirt
Reason #112 – I went to New York and all C got was a lousy t-shirt
Nov 15It is a documented sociological phenomenon that, in ye olde days before free trade agreements, travelling from Costa Rica to the USA was an exercise in shopping on a military scale.
(Seriously documented. I can point you to the studies. They’re in Spanish, tho.)
Since most of my travel to the States happened in those years, I would always fly with an extra suitcase to bring back the loot, which would more often than not include Keds and Reeboks (see what I mean by those years?) for myself, Oil of Olay and Clinique makeup for my mom and grandma (bonus points for scoring the gift bags and extra samples), family-sized sacks of Milky Way and Wrigley’s gum for my sister (she always asked for Dr. Pepper too, but damned if I was gonna travel with cans of soda,) 12-packs of Fruit of the Loom vests for my grandpa, duty-free liquor for my uncles, and enough clothing to keep all the women in the family ahead of the trends for a year.
If the trip also included a famous landmark, like that time I went to Disneyland (Or was it Disneyworld? Which is the one in Orlando? I can never remember!) then I’d also come loaded with mouse ears, snow globes, hats, t-shirts, stickers, fridge magnets and any other crap that bore the semblance of a Disney character.
For me, this was How The World Worked.
Last week’s trip to New York was like the Copernican Revolution for me. Without Keds.
I left for New York with an extra suitcase, huge wishlists from my mom (Yankees hat, vitamins, clothes) and sister (clothes, bags, clothes,) and every intention to bring back two of each of these – three if they also came in baby sizes:
However, someone else was in charge of planning that trip, and he had so many plans (ahem) that he allotted only 3-hour period on Friday morning for shopping. (Thanks once again to the lovely MommyShorts who took out the time to come see me try 17 dresses on, and gave her unflinching opinion on each. In spite of her kindness, I live tortured by jealousy of her blog, which is up for a real award and everything! Go take a look!)
I thought the trip would be meaningless if I didn’t shop.
I was wrong.
It was brilliant.
So brilliant, in fact, that it was not until I got back home that I realised that during my 5-day stint in the Empire City I bought exactly 7 things:
- My end-of-whoredom-dress (can I hear a “woot woot”?)
- My mom’s dress
- My sister’s dress
- My mom’s Yankees hat
- A small present for Adi
- A pair of shoes for C, which were TOO EFFING SMALL
- This:
Sorry, BooBoo. I know I promised tons of goodies, but I didn’t even set foot inside FAO Schwartz. Or Toys’R'Us. Or Macy’s.
Or any shop besides the dress shop, to be honest.
I’m lucky I managed to grab this in the gift shop at the 80th floor of the Empire State!
But that doesn’t diminish the fact that your idiot mother went to New York, and all you got was this lousy onesie.
Boy will I hear about this one for years to come…
“No, sweetie, I’m not gonna buy you that.”
“Oh, sure, just like that time you went to New York! You never buy me anything! *strop*”
“Darling, that was eighteen years ago. Now please put that Harley back. That’s a good boy, let’s go get you some ice cream.”
Bonus: a photo of C posing like those too-cool-for-school Urban Outfitters catalog models. Who said a baby can’t rock the heroin chic look?
First of all? That photo of C is too effing cute.
My aunt went to New York when I was a kid and brought me back an I (heart) NY T in size way too big for me. I wore it as a night shirt for YEARS, until it was washed so many times, the material resembled a gauze bandage much more than any sort of cotton.
I’m thrilled (and jealous) that you were able to take some time for yourself, and wish you all the love in the world as you (attempt to) end your whorish status.
xo
Kelsey recently posted Day in the Life of our Dog- Abner
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
Look who’s back! It’s a wonder I’m still talking to you!
Do you mean the heroin chic pic?
And I’ll need all the luck you can wish me to end my whorish ways!
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First of all Disneyland is in California and Disneyworld is in Orlando. (Interestingly Disneyland passes through spellcheck and Disneyworld does not).
Secondly, I know I said it before but it was a pleasure meeting you, shopping with you and being one of the last people to see you before you were officially TAKEN.
Thirdly, thank you for the very nice shout-out.
And lastly, your kid looks right at home in the NYC duds. Plus, I THINK, I see the resemblance in that pic:)
ilanarose recently posted Calming the Baby Beast
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 9:05 pm
I never get them straight. I’ll just call them Disney-place from now on.
And awww, stop it, you’re just buttering me up! (We do look alike, don’t we? From the right angle? In the dark? If you squint just enough?)
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Commenting pals comment regularly on each others’ posts to get the ball rolling. Quite clearly I would be the primary beneficiary of this otherwise mutual relationship, as, although I do have a readership, they appear to be on the shy side.
Daisy recently posted 7 Ways to Make Screen Time Work Better For Your Family
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
I’m in. Just be aware that my comments are usually on the profane side, so I may scare your shy readers even more!
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Too funny! It sounds like you had a lovely time!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:15 am
I *so* did! :D
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P.s. Fruit of the loom VESTS??
Daisy recently posted 7 Ways to Make Screen Time Work Better For Your Family
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Sorry, I mean string vests, wifebeaters, undershirts.
Not that my grandpa ever as much as dreamed of beating my grandma. He just always wore an undershirt!
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Daisy Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Hey, what is that Bad-Ass plugin that tells me Hark! Her awesomeness has responded to your comment!! (or some such). I wants it. Also, will you be my commenting pal? (Yes, I am pushy.)
Daisy recently posted 7 Ways to Make Screen Time Work Better For Your Family
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:59 am
The plugin is called WP Thread comment and it is PURE AWESOMENESS.
Of course I’ll be your commenting pal! Just tell me, what is a commenting pal?
That kid rocks any kind of look. He’s too young to appreciate swag anyway. And here I give you my oneupmanship: my kid has more tees from Texas and NY from his first nanny than anything that might identify where he’s actually from or anywhere his parents have ever been.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Oooooh… touche!
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You definitely scored big in New York! (from BMs)
Trisha recently posted Kitchen Finally Finished
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ofthesea Reply:
November 16th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Diamonds and Pearls!
…and all C got was a measly onesie!
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Picture of the dress, please!!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 11:28 am
No can do… The Scandinavian has taken to reading my blog of late!
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He looks smashing in his NYC T!! What else could he have possibly needed..he would have grown out of it in two months! ;) lol
How Does She Do It Mom recently posted The Hardest Question To Answer
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ofthesea Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 9:43 am
That would have been my logic… if I had been thinking about it!
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