Reason #113 – I looked forward to the end of Maternity Leave
Reason #113 – I looked forward to the end of Maternity Leave
Nov 17Adi just looked up from her Facebook and wailed: “Oh no! My poor cousin!”
Her tone was so sorrowful I stopped browsing a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine working and asked: “What’s the matter? Fire? Flood? Illness? Ruin?”
The answer: “Her baby is 2 months already! She’s gonna have to leave her in a month to go back to work! She must be so sad!”
Maternity leave in Costa Rica lasts 120 days starting on week 36*, so we get roughly one month before the baby is born and 3 months afterwards. And then heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s back to work we go!
(While it is pretty stingy compared to the lavish maternity – and paternity! – leaves people get in the civilised world, i.e. Scandinavia, it is a lot of time compared to the USA, so no complaints here.)
Adi’s heartbreak over her cousin’s impending separation from her babe sent me hurtling down Memory Lane…
I spent the first month of my long-awaited maternity leave falling in love (long story, that,) finishing a knit blanket for my boy, and eating edamame beans like they were going out of style.
C was over 2 weeks late, and I spent those 2 extra weeks feeling miserable and ready to explode. I tried everything to get labour started (save for the one thing that had gotten me into the predicament, heh.) Nothing worked. I drowned my sorrows daily in an extra large order of edamame followed by a McDonald’s chocolate sundae.
Finally I got an induction, and after the easiest breeziest labour ever, C popped out.
My one, my one, my only love! He was a beauty and a star from the very first day: a good eater, a good sleeper, a good pooper. And so so cuddly! I thought I’d never get enough of him!
Ah, the bloom of first love! Everything was a joy! The incredibly painful bonding experience of breastfeeding, the stinky rose-scented diapers, even getting up five times once or twice a night didn’t seem much of an ordeal. I looked at this face and everything was worth it!
So far so good, right?
Right.
However – and this is the part where I reveal myself to be a heartless monster – by December I was totally ready to move on with life.
December.
My boy was born mid-October.
You do the maths.
So even though I was still more or less breastfeeding, I left my baby in my mom’s care overnight on three separate occasions (or was it 4?) before he was 3 months old.
It gets worse.
Before I went on maternity leave I had saved up every last scrap of holidays I could, with the intention of taking them all together at the end of my leave so I could spend even more time breathlessly admiring my beauteous, wondrous, perfecteous baby.
But by mid-December I emailed my boss to say “Sod that, I’m returning to work on the original date. I’ll use the holidays later.”
Heartless bitch.
And it gets even worse.
Please don’t tell my son. Or my mom. Or the Ostrich Society. But for the last few days of maternity leave I was literally counting down until I could get back to work.
Counting. Down.
“Five days! Four days! Three days! Two days! One day!”
“DAYCAAAAAAAARE!!!!”
If anyone wants to tell me my son would be better off with foster parents, you are totally right. The queue to kick my ass starts here.
* This is why I couldn’t wait to go on maternity leave. Heck, I could have gone out even sooner!
I was totally heartbroken to return to work (and since I’m in Canada I get a fabulous 52 weeks of Maternity leave) because I was so worried that Paxton would be devastated without me (ya he’s totally excited to be at daycare every day when I drop him off). However, now that I’ve been back to work for 2 weeks, I find that having a break from my wonderful (but also whiney and clingy) baby boy is just Heavenly! And it’s also a bonus that Hubby gets to pick Paxton up from daycare and is home alone with him for about 3 hours a day. Welcome to my world for the last year, Babe!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 26th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
I hope I can find a way for the Dane to also spend some alone tine with C on a daily basis, so I can have some MEEEE time!
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i heart you ( mom of two writes from her desk that she spends 11 hours a day, where no one asks to play polly pocket or smears shit on her folders)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 22nd, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Hooray for 11 hours of peace! I’ve never loved my office so much as when I got back from maternity leave. Now I’m enjoying the freelance lifestyle – thanks to judicious amount of daycare! ;)
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I think within two months any normal person craves the company of adults. Parenting is a tough job, and breaks from it are always a plus.
Just Plain Tired recently posted There Are Days Im Best Left Alone
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ofthesea Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 9:46 am
I LOVE your blog name! Off to get acquainted with it!
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*sigh* showering….going out side…these are things normal people do. Its been so long since I’ve taken my three yr old outside that she doesn’t even WANT to go out anymore. I guess she got me back last night though when she told me I had a big bum.
Here’s my confession I recently blogged.
http://benandlinz.blogspot.com/2010/11/random-rantings-of-mother-losin-it.html
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ofthesea Reply:
November 18th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
We take opposite approaches – when I cannot handle C I take him outoutout! Other people are better at paying attention to him than I am…
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Hilarious. And so true for a lot of moms. I love my girls but I job hunt EVERYDAY! Being a stay at home mom is not all about bon-bons and soap operas like I thought! I was misinformed before I signed up for this job!!
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ofthesea Reply:
November 18th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
I know! I was also promised a half-naked man-slave who would fan me with ostrich feathers! I want my money back!
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abbie Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 7:52 am
Well, and I was told children napped and knew how to play by themselves and ….
No one told me I would be on constant entertainment duty for 12 hours straight everyday. That is the part that exhausts me the most!
abbie recently posted Day 139- something to work on
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ofthesea Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 9:35 am
We were lied to. I think it’s time we take this to the Hague.
I give you zero crap for this post. ZERO. I did not even get that instant honeymoon phase that you had (even if it only lasted a few weeks for you.) Instead I was faced with a bizarre alien being for which I was strangely and fiercely responsible. OF COURSE I preferred the more predictable, easier to comprehend children that were my business clients! (I admit I have finally switched preferences. But I do have preschool. And a part-time sitter. Yeah, I am a lucky bitch.)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 18th, 2010 at 10:06 am
Oooh – I cannot imagine what that must have felt like. It would have made me start writing sooner for sure!
And hell yeah, let’s hear it for sitters! I am a lucky bitch that way too!
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I am trying to figure out how to work at home so that I can be home with the kids more. I guess I am just crazy that way…lol
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ofthesea Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Cra-a-azy!
Well, no, come to think of it I kinda look forward to spending time with C once he’s verbal and reasoning and (dare I say it?) fun. But right now he is so much better in daycare!
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The second week in February 2004. The “Going Back to Sanity” week.
Mommy got to shower and go be with adults.
Baby got to play with other short people his age.
At the end of the day they reconnect as happy functioning humans.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
You people are impossible to shock! I’ll try harder next time.
And yeah, showering! Now that you mention it… um… this working from home thing is not doing great things for my personal hygiene!
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Oh darling,
THIS is the post that you should have linked up in the forums for the bad mommy haters. I would LOVE to hear what kind of BS would be flooding your inbox for this confession…
I’ve been home for so long that, although I’m aching to join grown up people doing grown up things, I fear that I won’t be able to fit into society again. I mean, I do believe people converse on topics other than sleep patterns and poop, I just completely forget how…
Perhaps I SHOULD have gone the daycare route. What good is being at home with your mother, when she’s morphed into an incompetent human being?
Kelsey recently posted Day in the Life of our Dog- Abner
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ofthesea Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
I was expecting to get in trouble for this one, but it has been unusually quiet on the comment front.
That said, I’ve been getting lots of visits from a mystery forum called the ghastly Pink something… ever heard of it? Is it Ostrich central?
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I was lucky enough to have a year off, and I’d have to say that it was lucky because I’m apparently not in love with my job.
I can totally get the need for mental stimulation, I spent a lot of time online, participating in coops, even moderating a few. This brought about copious amounts of fabric which I then spent a lot of time drooling over, waiting for my child to sleep so I could sew them up. I did a bunch of organizational stuff for moms in my social group, so again, occupied and not all about baby. And now that V’s in daycare? I could totally be a SAHM *g*
Neeroc recently posted We went to the museum and saw things older than me
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Brandy Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Oh heck yeah, now that the kiddos are in school and out of my hair 6 hours a day I could SO get used to be a stay at home mom ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Heck, I’m loving the send-C-to-daycare-and-work-from-home new lifestyle… now if only I could actually get some work done!
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lololol…I am so right there with you. I have 3 boys and with each one I was over.it by the time they were 2 weeks old. I missed talking to adults and BEING an adult. I love being a mom, dont get me wrong, but dammit, I was a grown up first.
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ofthesea Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Exactly! I was SO ready for some office gossip and grown-up company! The goo-goos and diapers get old incredibly fast.
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