Reason #121 – I let my son get away with domestic violence
Reason #121 – I let my son get away with domestic violence
Dec 06I am officially issuing my most sincere and deep apologies to the poor girl who eventually marries my son, and not only because she will have me as a MIL.
No, it is because my boy is being carefully brought up to be a future wifebeater.
Starting with the style.
Since he is clearly nowhere near old enough to choose his own clothes, that leaves a pretty obvious suspect for dressing him like a miniature Eminem. Not the best start, huh?
But it gets worse.
Some of you may have seen on my Facebook page that I was headbutted by C accidentally as punishment for my unsatisfactory motherly ways. He has a rock-hard little head (wonder who he got that from?) and the strength of a Shetland pony, so the resulting injuries from his assault were not pretty:
And what did I do after being a victim of domestic violence at the hands of my 13-month-old son?
I did not turn him in to the authorities.
I did not get a restriction order.
I did not even tell him “This is it! We are through!” and moved back to my mom’s place.
No, I went to my bedroom to take pouty self-potraits suck on a piece of ice and cry in my pillow while Ms Lilly took the little mombeater to the neighbour’s house for flattery and breakfast.
That’s right – he got rewarded for his actions with a nice picnic! Next time he’ll put me in the hospital and expect to be taken to Disney. And it will all be my fault.
PS: But don’t I look JUST like Angelina on this one?
OMG. At least you got bee-stung lips out of the deal. V has whacked me in the nose 2x now (once with a weapon!) and I’ll I get is black eyes.
Neeroc recently posted Last night I kissed my 2-year old goodnight…
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ofthesea Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
I haven’t gotten those yet, but they cannot be far off.
And when it finally happens, I’ll embed the video for ‘love the way you lie’, because I do like Eminem after all.
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Last night I got bashed in the head by a spinning Beyblade top.
After child was told to NOT launch the Beyblade.
Sobbing child got put to bed immediately….at 7:30pm.
Mommy happily plopped on the couch and watched soap operas.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 10:36 am
I don’t even know what a Beyblade is, but it sounds terrifying. You did the right thing. Hope the soaps were good!
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You too! Bear head butted me in the middle of my appointment with the dietitian the other day. I stayed calm and winced and managed not to squeeze out any tears. She was concerned. And don’t get me started on how he totally b***h slapped me at the bus stop the other day when I was trying to amuse his royal whineyness…
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
You are my hero! I cried like a girl!
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You should hire him out. Who needs collagen with C around?
CDG recently posted The Red Shoes at OysterFestivus
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
I am totally gonna get headbutted a few days before the wedding, so I get to look this pouty in all the pics!
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Oh too funny! I love your page titles BTW, like Deadly Toys of Doom! All too dramatic and oh so sreious, but funny! The lip will get better soon, belive me! With my two little girls, who despite the frilly lace and princess tiaras, love to go fishing and hiking and horseback riding, will occasionally tag-team me in a wrestling match! They always win…the fat lip will heal..trust me!
Jasmine recently posted Custom Jigsaw Puzzles
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Thanks! I am always amazed when someone takes my titles seriously and yells at me…
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Too funny. I do not miss those days of being headbutted. My son used to get me all the time.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Making Progress
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 10:12 am
My lip is almost healed now – I dread to think of the next injury!
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Gotta love that shirt! Ouchy for the headbutt tho’. PS: Love the new look here! Great job, mama!
Tatter Scoops recently posted Celebrating Motherhood &8211 The 4th Year
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 10:10 am
Thanks!
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I must say that I am surprised this is the first episode of abuse you are reporting. One evening my boy, just about C’s age then, was flinging around a pair of scuba goggles. He was having a blast flipping them around by they rubber head band. Being worried for his own safety I repeatedly warned him that he was going to bop himself in the face with them. Guess who got bopped? Yep. Got a right nice shiner I did.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 8:36 am
I think it’s time we started a support group.
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New Bad Mom Post:Reason #121 – I let my son get away with domestic violence. Read it now! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/reason-1...
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