Reason #124 – I lost my son
Reason #124 – I lost my son
Dec 12Today I lost C.
“We’ve lost Baby,” she screamed.
“Do you mean that it’s dead, or stampeded, or that you staked it at cards and lost it that way?” asked Clovis
lazily.
(Because even when I’m distressed I can’t help but remember my favorite smartass books.)
We were home alone – C was playing outside and I was happily updating my Facebook status working when I realized things had been way too quiet for way too long.
Holy crap! Where is the boy?
You may have noticed we live in a sort of condominium, with three houses sharing a largish garden. I started looking for C in the garden in front of our house.
No luck.
I went around to the house in the middle. No boy. Checked all the nooks and crannies around the street-facing house. Nope.
I went to the front gate and checked. It was closed and padlocked, just as I’d left it.
Seriously. Where on Earth is C?
I went back to my house and checked carefully: all the rooms, even those with closed doors. Under the beds. I checked the kitchen, the laundry room. Inside the bin. Behind the Christmas tree.
No boy.
I started to worry. Did he run off with the circus? Was he knocked unconscious by a falling coconut? Or maybe abducted by Angelina aliens?
Second inspection round, focusing on the potentially dangerous spots. Damn, I never realized there were so many of those. Still, no boy anywhere.
Not dead, not bleeding, not unconscious, not alive and well.
Shite.
I reinspected our fellow houses and this time I heard TV sounds. A-ha! There is someone home! Still, all doors were closed. I tested them. All closed. C couldn’t be in there.
Where in the name of the Almighty was my son!??!?!
Finally I swallowed my pride and knocked, and as I was gathering the courage to ask “Have you seen the baby?” our neighboring Granny opened up beaming. “Oh look, it’s the mother of the Blessed Child! He’s been watching telly with us for a while! I hope you were not worried?”
Lil scamp. Hiding behind locked doors stuffing his face with cookies and watching more TV than I ever allow him while I was scouring the dank, scary, spidery reaches of the bloody garden.
I’m buying that leash this week.
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Reminder: have you answered the poll yet? We’re just a few votes away from reaching the minimum of 150! I will share the t-shirt design as soon as the designer sends it over – it’s gonna be ROCKING.
Oh such scary moments! I’m glad all was well and he was happy. I guess he is honing his Hide and Seek skills!
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ofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
God HELP him if he ever does this on purpose, because I’ll go all “seek and destroy” on his rear!
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Telly and cookies!
Smart monkey.
Might I suggest some kind of tracking anklet like house arrested celebrities wear?
It will go nicely with his baby modeling career!
CDG recently posted At A Terminological Loss
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ofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I was just thinking of designing some sort of GPS tracking device that he can wear all the way into his teenage years, and that can self destruct harmlessly upon hitting 18.
I’ll ask the Dane to build me one.
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Glad this ended the way it did..it is scary as heck when the disappear like that even for a second. It happened to my sister when her son was 1 1/2 yrs…he went outside to follow their cat and crawled under the fence…my sister actually found him stuck there (his hood got caught) and he was for all intents and purposes choking himself SCARY!!!!! To this day she can’t think about it…..
How Does She Do It Mom recently posted How to “Do Something With Your Life”
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Lmao @ Angelina… you know that chick is just sniffing around for a kid as blessed as yours. Glad you found him, I did the same thing to my parents when I was little. They actually called the cops though. I was right down the street, playing with a kid 3 years younger so they never thought to look there. My mom cried and hugged me at the same time she spanked me. I was five and I will never forget it.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 6:34 am
She will NOT adopt my son, I don’t care how much he looks like Shiloh. Won’t happen! XD
I did it too, when I was 2, in big fashion – I ran off while my mom was suntanning at the club, she found me an hour later eating fries with another family. I get grief about it to this day!
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Leashes are good! Lost my son in the grocery store when he was to walk less than 10 feet from me to his father. Turned my back and he was gone in an instant. Frantic few minutes before we spotted his mop of wild hair browsing the apple section. Can’t trust the little buggers for a moment.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 6:34 am
I have always been wildly anti-leash, but I am now reconsidering… this boy is too darn fast!
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Brilliant! Get that one that you can stick in the ground and hook ‘em to. Should be hours of fun! (And you can get in a nap, too!)
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ofthesea Reply:
December 12th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
You read my mind; I was thinking of strapping it to a wire across the garden, like my mom used to do when she had big dogs, so they have a bit more room to run.
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New Bad Mom Post:Reason #124 – I lost my son. Read it now! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/reason-1...
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barvak Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:31 am
@Mofthesea Voy a leerlo.
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Mofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:31 am
@barvak Jeje, vas a creer que se me perdio de veras? Casi me da un ataque!
(Heehee, will you believe I really lost him?I almost had a fit!)
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barvak Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:33 am
@Mofthesea No te creo. Apenas si camina.
(I don’t believe you. He barely walks.)
Mofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:34 am
@barvak Estas loco? Corre, brinca y escala. Sube gradas pero no las sabe bajar. Se trepa en todo. Es VELOZ.
(Are you nuts? He runs, leaps and climbs. He climbs stairs but can’t go down. He scales everything. He’s FAST)
barvak Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:38 am
@Mofthesea Te voy a regalar una correa.
(I’m gonna get you a leash.)
Mofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:41 am
@barvak Siiiiiiii! Muero por una! Ya es hora! Cualquier dia de estos se me va a zafar en el mall y va a ser una bronca.
(Yessssss! I’m dying for one! Any of this days he’ll run off in the mall and there will be hell to pay)
barvak Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:44 am
@Mofthesea Yo te iba a regalar una en el cumpleaños, hasta que te llamé y terminó en un libro.
(I was gona give you one for his birthday, till I called you and ended getting a book)
Mofthesea Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:45 am
@barvak Exito! :D
(Yay! :D)
barvak Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:48 am
@Mofthesea Son bonitos. Son bultos para niños. Con correa para adultos.
(They;re cute. They’re backpacks for kids. With a leash for grown-ups.)