Reason #132 – I call my son horrible, horrible names
Reason #132 – I call my son horrible, horrible names
Dec 27Everything sounds better in Spanish.
Everything.
The humble “watermelon” becomes the melodious “sandía”, the boring “desk” becomes a sing-song “escritorio”, and the rather rude “sonofabitch snot-face” becomes a loving “jueputa mocoso.”
It’s almost poetry!
You must know I do not call C this out of anger. When I am mad I call him by his first name, middle name, and both surnames, like every Costa Rican mother before me. To this day, my stomach drops whenever my mother calls me by my full name.
No. I call C a jueputa mocoso out of affection, whenever he does something incredibly cute, whenever I feel proud of a trick he’s just performed.
Awwww! Jueputa mocoso! My lil sonofabitch snot-face!
Diosss, no me habia reido tanto in ages!! – tu ‘jueputica mocoso’ es encantador.Saludos!
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Gracias! Y vos tenes jueputas mocosos propios? :)
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deya Reply:
January 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Si, tengo una recien salida del horno (3 meses), a la cual a veces llamo dulcemente: “that whining lil shit”, “Bojotico de mierda” y, como dirian tambien en mi tierra natal: muchacha er coño!!. Esta ultima, normalmente cuando estoy sleep-deprived and trying to get her back to sleep in the middle of the night.
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Hahahahaha! I think I peed a little. I have to say, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s called her precious spawn things like “you little soul-stealing piece of monkey shit.” Unfortunately, as the mother of teenage soul-stealing pieces of monkey shit, I’ll let you in on a secret. They WILL get you back.
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ofthesea Reply:
January 17th, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Oh dear. That is one day I DON’T look forward to!
…and “soul-stealing piece of monkey shit” is going to become a part of my vocabulary starting NOW. You rock!
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Too funny…my DD’s name rhymes with sandia so I think she’s going to think that that’s her middle name as she’s often called by both names. She’s also known as “mona chuca”…dirty monkey…which is still fitting at 3years old! Today she gave herself a mani/pedi with permanent marker!
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ofthesea Reply:
January 5th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Hee hee, C also gets called several variations of “mono”!
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My mom totally freaks when I refer to my kids as butthead or jerks…lol…but seriously when my 2 y o is being a Jerk, I tell him.
Later, I will tell him it means Junior Educated Rich Kid, Ya’ll remember that one right?
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ofthesea Reply:
January 2nd, 2011 at 3:26 pm
LOL. Well done for saying it like it is!
Beware – as soon as his language skills improve, he may be saying it right back atcha. That’s one day I don’t look forward to!
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I would love to know half the crazy things my husband’s Woonsocket Quebecois family calls the children.
It’s like French in a blender, but very colorful when translated.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
You know, it’s all in the delivery! ;)
And Woonsocket Quebecois? I’m jealous!!
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I need several of these “affectionate” names for my little shits. However, they cannot be in Spanish, for they have a Spanish teacher who lived in Costa Rica and would translate quite rapidly once the boys went in and asked him. LOL!
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ofthesea Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Anyone? “Affectionate” names for kids in other languages?
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I call them “cabrones” with that sense of pride you talk about. And some people think I am bitter mother… well, maybe but no when I call “cabrones” my two little pieces of shit… I mean, heaven…
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ofthesea Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Good one! C also goes by huevón and infeliz, but none have the musicality and poetry of jueputa mocoso!
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Hee! I would say, when they were little and wouldn’t stop crying, in a singsong voice, “Who’s my little shit? Who’s my sweet little bastard?” as I rocked them. The rocking helped them, and the cursing helped me.
(My name growing up was Sandi, so my Mexican relatives rapidly chose to call me Sandía. :-)
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ofthesea Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Sandia! Tee hee hee!
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ROF! I called my youngest child “little shit” until someone asked him his name and he answered, yep, “My name is Little Shit”.
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ofthesea Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
I thought that was an urban myth! XD
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New Bad Mom Post:Reason #132 – I call my son horrible, horrible names. Read it now! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/reason-1...
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