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Reason #137 – I bore my toddler to death
Reason #137 – I bore my toddler to death
Jan 21Every single time I visit my mom we have this discussion:
Mom: I think C looks uncomfortable in his carseat.
Me: Nah, he’s OK. I checked for yoyos before strapping him in.
Mom: No, I mean, his legs look squished.
Me: Nah, he’s OK. His knees are just a bit bent, it won’t kill him.
Mom: You should turn his seat forward, he’s too big.
Me: Not until he’s at least 2.
Mom: But he’s uncomfortable!
Me: Better uncomfortable than dead.
Mom: But he gets bored looking backwards!
Me: Better bored than dead.
Mom: Stop saying that! You believe anything you read on the Internet! When you were a kid we just threw you in the back with some toys! Etc.
And then we go over this all over again when we’re getting ready to leave. “That poor child, squished and cramped and bored to death looking into the back seat…!”
(And then she wonders why I visit so seldom.)
My main reason for having C facing backwards is that Scandinavians do EVERYTHING better, and in Sweden children face the back of the car until they’re 3 to 5 years old. 3 to 5. My kid is every bit as valuable as all those Scandikids, and he will face the rear till he’s 7 years old, so there.
Since that is not a good enough reason for my mom, I did some research (which, as you could see, she scorned.) Numbers don’t lie, and here are some of the numbers that tell me C is gonna be bored for a long time, because he will be facing bloody backwards until he reaches the seat’s weight limit:
According to a 2008 article in the professional journal Pediatrics, children under age two are 75% less likely to be killed or suffer severe injuries in a crash if they are riding rear facing rather than forward facing. In fact, for children 1–2 years of age, facing the rear is five times safer. (From www.carseat.org)
Why backwards, you say? Aren’t we all facing forward and doing fine?
According to crashtest.com, frontal and frontal offset crashes combine for about 72% of severe crashes. Side impacts are about 24%. Rear and rear offset crashes only account for about 4%. The NHTSA FARS database shows similar numbers.
In a frontal crash, it is easy to see why a rear-facing carseat is a better choice. The entire shell of the carseat cradles the child’s back, neck and head. The crash forces are spread throughout the large area of the child’s back and head, reducing the pressure during the crash, and keeping the head from snapping backward with respect to the body. In a serious frontal crash with a front-facing carseat, the head and legs of the child are thrown forward like a rag doll, and serious forces are put on the child’s spinal cord. (Extracted from www.car-safety.org)
I know this rant by heart now. I repeat it to my mother twice on every visit.
Oh dear.
I don’t just bore my son to death. I also bore my mom to death. And I bet I also just bored YOU to death.
1000 Reasons I’m a Bad Blogger, coming up soon!
PS: I wouldn’t dream of telling you what to do with your kids. This is just what I do with mine and my mom can suck on it you can make of it what you will!
I have a Chevy Lumina, and two kids (almost 4 and almost 2, their birthdays are 6 days apart), with another on the way. We have had to bend the car seat rules marginally, because we just don’t have the room in the back seat to accommodate the exact rules. We had to turn my son forward facing earlier than I’d have liked to squish in my daughter’s infant seat; we had to put him in a booster earlier than I’d have liked because there was no way two convertible seats would fit back there, and she literally did not fit in the infant seat anymore; and now, with a new little one’s guess date being exactly 9 days away (assuming she decides to come on the exact date), my daughter will be facing forward earlier than I’d like so as to once again accommodate the infant seat.
Unless someone wishes to donate a van, we will have to continue to settle for close enough. And even then, no amount of money will convince me to begin the war of returning to a “baby seat”, so you’d only be saving the littlest ones – IF you get the van to us before I have to turn my daughter’s seat around, that is. If you wait until after, there is no amount of money that will convince me to start the war of going back to rear facing. I love my kids, but I love my sanity more… But hey, you’d be saving the littlest one from similar car seat compromises. Better one than none, right?
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ofthesea Reply:
March 14th, 2011 at 7:34 pm
I’ll say what I always say: we all do the best we can!
Now, if any of my militant carseat readers want to donate a van for this kind reader…
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I hadn’t been over here visiting in quite a while, and I see we blogged about the same topic! (I swear I didn’t copy you! I was fighting the same battle!)
Show her the videos at the end of my blog – my husband was giving me the same run down excuses until he saw that. Now he’s a believer.
http://notatextbookmommy.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/all-it-takes-is-getting-spooked/
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ofthesea Reply:
February 24th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
Eee, I’m not sure I wanna see them myself – I get nightmares easily! Are they crash test dummies?
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My grandmother gives me the same run through. I have one of those magical car seats that cost and arm and a leg to rear face up to 40 pounds. She tells me I need to switch my daughter at 1 year because he legs with get cramped/smooshed/snapped on impact. Also she will get sick/bored/etc because she’s facing backwards.
Izzy.0 recently posted I had my 12week ultrasound today!
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ofthesea Reply:
February 24th, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Stick to your guns!
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Here in Australia they only make rear-facing seats for 8-9kg or 6months, which ever comes second. I know woman who have turned babies around at 3 months, not understanding that just because bub can hold their head up, doesnt mean their spine wont snap in a front on collision! I wish they made rear facing seats for 2-3 years like in other countries!
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ofthesea Reply:
January 28th, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I see a business opportunity… now all we need is an investor! ;)
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I’m the opposite bad mom. When both my kids were under the weight (and age) limits of their seats we flipped them around for the marathon 24 (plus) hour road trips we take at least 3 times a year. Boy was turned around at 9 months, and gasp, in a booster at 3 years. Daughter was a bit later, turned around at 11 months. They were just below the weight limit, nothing a heavy wet diaper and jacket couldn’t fix. I look at it this way, if you’re constantly turned around trying to sooth/entertain/converse or otherwise take your attention off the road it’s not safer for you, your kid or the other people on the road. Do what works for you, and if your kid’s happy talking to himself and safer, then kudos. I know that mine would have found their own way out of the seat in 24 hours if they weren’t facing the ‘action’.
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ofthesea Reply:
January 28th, 2011 at 7:07 pm
24-hour trips?! Egad, you do what you gotta do to stay alive through such a drive! I am totally NOT judging!
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I so can relate to this! My oldest hated his car seat and half the time would cry at the top of his lungs if we had to go more than a block in it. If you think that’s bad, just add my mom to that equation. She’s noise sensitive to start with…but she already hated that I wasn’t able to “hold my baby in my lap” like she did coming home from the hospital. So on those trips not only was my son crying his lungs out but by the end of it my mom was yelling at me on how it was flat out cruel to let him stay “tied up in that horrible thing!”
Luckily my younger two didn’t act like the car seat was a torture device.
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ofthesea Reply:
January 28th, 2011 at 7:09 pm
The best part about my mom is that C could NOT care less. He just chills in there. SHE is the only one with a problem! *banging head against wall*
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There are little mirrors available that you can stick onto the back window so that you can see what he’s up to. I had one when my kids were in rear facing car seats.
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ofthesea Reply:
January 29th, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I’m not sure if *I* could handle the distraction of seeing C’s gorgeous face while I’m trying to drive in San Jose!
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Yeah, my Grandma also gives me a similar rant, “but you can’t see her. How do you know she’s okay?”
I’m a new mom and I’m loving reading this. I write a mommy fashion blog, because I need a break from the hard work and seriousness that is raising a baby. So this blog is a welcome site!
modamama.blogspot.com
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Mommy fashion? LOVE IT. Will be over at your blog soon!
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Anne-Marie Reply:
January 24th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
My godson rides with a mirror strategically placed so the driver can see every raspberry he blows at the back window. SO HA on Grandma.
Sorry. I’m being nasty to her. Bad me.
Anne-Marie recently posted Junk-ectomy- Portuguese Style
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ofthesea Reply:
January 28th, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Ah, my son’s good looks are so hypnotic (to me) that I’d probably crash within minutes of installing such a mirror! ;)
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So, bored is worse than SPLAT?
Anne-Marie recently posted Junk-ectomy- Portuguese Style
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:17 pm
According to my mom, yeah. Some logic there!
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My 13 month old will be rear facing as long as she can be. I say, better safe than sorry. A little “boredom” is better than potential death. Especially considering how everyone else drives…I, for one, am a fantastic driver. :)
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:17 pm
I am a good driver when I’ve had a good night’s sleep… so never, these days. Buckle up!
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We can only go rf until 35lbs. V is 3yo and 34lbs, but I just could not deal with getting her in the rear facing seat much past 2 years. It was winter and the slush! Disgusting.
Lamest excuse ever.
Neeroc recently posted Winter would be fun if it weren’t so damn cold!
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Hey, 2 years is good enough! I raise my glass to you! ;)
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Why is it that moms are never happy? Remember, that is C’s job – to not make you happy, which hopefully will appear here. If you want to stick the point home with your mom – tell her politely – look C is very flexible, how about you give it a try. Maybe she will stop hounding you. Blessings, Diane
Diane recently posted Should you Stay or Go – to work- that is
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Do you think when our time comes to be grandmas we’ll be able to keep our mouths shut about the 1000 things our kids are doing wrong with their kids?
I SO hope so.
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Oh goodness…battle with mom, be careful…lol.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted On a Search!
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:20 pm
I know! Story of my life…
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I do love you for not being a big bossy pants about it- but you’re right. It’s much, much safer until they’re in the next weight class.
Moms! ARGH! (Mine called me once to make sure I was making peanut butter jelly sandwiches EXACTLY the way she taught me. Anal much?)
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ofthesea Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:22 pm
If you ever catch me being bossypants about anything, please slap me. Seriously.
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New Bad Mom Post:Reason #137 – I bore my toddler to death. Read it now! http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/reason-1...
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