Reason #149 – I am turning my son into a man-whore
Reason #149 – I am turning my son into a man-whore
Apr 01Move over, Deuce Bigelow. There’s a new gigolo in town!
Anyone who’s read my blog Everyone knows that my son, C, is the epitome of baby beauty and perfection. Those blue eyes! That cleft chin! The cherub lips! The kid is so gorgeous that there is a scam cult around his Divine Blessedness. Enough said.
I’m just making sure he will know how to profit those assets when the time comes, that’s all!
You see: these days, whenever my boy asks me for anything, I make him kiss me first.
“You want food? What about giving momma a kiss?”
“I see you’re thirsty. Gimme a kiss and I’ll give you juice.”
“This toy car could be yours if you kiss mama.”
Mmmmmm. C gives the best kisses in the Universe.
But when he ends up working for Heidi Fleiss there will be only one person to blame.
Myself.
Who could resist those big blue eyes? He’ll definitely be using those for a long time to come.
Michelle recently posted Day Planners and Journals for Mother’s Day
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ofthesea Reply:
April 24th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Tell me about it – I’m on the receiving end of the Blue Rays of Doom every day!
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This is unrelated, but thanks to your blog I now find myself narrating moments of my day in witty reasons of crap momhood similar to yours… For example, my latest newborn woke up HUNGRY, like I hadn’t nursed her at all today, while I was using the bathroom. This being my third, instead of rushing through my business I chose instead to let her scream as I leisurely finished. While I did this, I heard my mind say: “I make my daughter starve while I selfishly take some ‘me time’.”
Dang, if only the blog idea wasn’t taken already…
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ofthesea Reply:
April 12th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Now you know what it feels like to be me!
PS: 3 kids? You’re a hero and a saint!
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¿Un niño cariñoso con su madre? Sin duda es algo por lo cual sentirse una buena madre.
Jose Paulo Zuniga recently posted Yo estuve allí
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I still make my 14 year old son kiss me before he can play the X-box.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Returned Friday Night
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ofthesea Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
You are my HERO!
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You’re not turning him into a man whore.
You’re teaching him a valuable life skill. Kisses are a completely legitimate form of currency, and knowing how to get what you want in exchange for one? Priceless.
CDG recently posted Working On A Thing
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ofthesea Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Ah, but when he realises he can get bigger burgers, better grades and free cinema tickets in exchange for those same kisses?
DOOM.
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