Reason #151 – I use my son as a pawn in a war against my husband
Reason #151 – I use my son as a pawn in a war against my husband
Apr 24It started innocently enough.
Every night we soak the boy in our bathtub, and then we throw him on our bed to get his diaper and jammies on before we take him to his room for story time.
One night like any other, we were towelling and tickling C after his nightly bath when the Dane complained that I was getting his side of the bed wet. I had not really meant any harm, but since I was unjustly accused I made a point of ostentatiously rubbing C’s wet towel on the Dane’s pillow.
This is how wars begin.
The following night the Dane dumped a naked and towel-wrapped C straight onto my side of the bed, which happens to be the one furthest from the bathroom.
I retaliated the next day by sitting the wet boy on the Dane’s pillow before towelling him.
The night after that the Dane slyly swapped the pillows, so mine was the one who got wet when I maliciously dropped the wet C-bomb on his side.
One night later I encouraged C to burrow under the Dane’s half of the duvet instead of towelling him dry. It was mighty effective.
The next night the Dane got ahead of me and dried the wet boy on my side of the bed, making sure the stinkier parts got rubbed on my pillow.
That bastard.
Things have escalated so much that tonight I found myself rubbing the Dane’s pillow on the boy’s rear while the mean monster used my pillow to dry C’s feet.
I shudder to think what will happen tomorrow.
My poor boy, already caught between warring parents!
And we’ve only been married for two months!
Such a cute battle – you newlyweds you. But dude, I’m sorry, but you bathe your child every night? I knew this crap mom thing was a scam! My three year old recently went an entire week! LOL
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ofthesea Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 10:49 pm
It is SO much fun to watch his naked splashies! Also, we get some ‘family time’. Also, there is a lot of beer involved. EVERY day.
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Priceless! At least this is a fun battle!!
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ofthesea Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 10:49 pm
Tell me about it! I SO got his side soaked today while he was playing racquetball! >:)
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love it!!! LMAO
Sara N recently posted 1384
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hmmm….. that is not weird- at all!
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ofthesea Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
What are you implying, young lady??
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Ahhahahaha! This might be my favorite one yet! Hooray for using innocent children as pawns to torture your spouse, quite possibly the best use for kids in the universe.
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ofthesea Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Best use ever! Seriously!
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and the poor Blessed Child looks soooooo upset about it all!!!! #looks for the number of a child trauma specialist.
LMAO!!!!!
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ofthesea Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
I have one on speed dial, don’t worry!
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