Reason #154 – I expose my toddler to porn
Reason #154 – I expose my toddler to porn
May 02Because everyone knows “erotic art” is just a fancy name for porn.
Decorating our flat has taken a while, but it’s going quite well – C’s bedroom is a cute jungle, the kitchen works like clockwork and the living room is almost ready. Our bedroom, however, is still a blank slate, and C colonised it with his toys and clothes and turned it into an extended playground.
I decided to put an end to it and reclaim our bedroom for the grown-ups!
After a lot of research, debate and tough negotiating, we agreed on the first piece of art to grace our bedroom walls: a photograph of a gorgeous marble sculpture of Venus and Adonis, by good old Canova. It’s a spectacular nude, photographed from behind. Sweet, sexy, romantic, beautiful. I love it.
Since I do everything on the cheap, I got a huge frame at Ikea and undertook the matting and framing myself.
There was only one detail – the kid. That little ape must ALWAYS nose into what I am doing, and there was no way I could hide 18 x 24 inches of marble ass from his all-seeing little eyes while I framed the darned thing.
What the heck, he’s not really going to notice, right?
WRONG.
The picture is now safely hung over our bed, where it should be far from prying little eyes, but he doesn’t miss a chance to peek at it. He even brought the kitchen step stool to our bedroom so he can climb on the bed more easily whenever he wants an eyeful of ass.
Oh dear.
18 months old and already into erotica.
Bad Mom. Bad!
Maybe he’s just wondering why there’s a dog trying to nose its way into things…
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ofthesea Reply:
May 10th, 2011 at 11:26 am
“I introduce my toddler to bestiality.”
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LOL. V still sees *our* asses on a regular basis…which may explain why I keep having to tell her to stop mooning out the living room window. Okay, I think I’ve proved once again that doing the opposite of me will always serve you well.
Neeroc recently posted Conversations with and about V
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ofthesea Reply:
May 4th, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Stop trying to out-bad me or I’ll go get the poster with the FRONT of the sculpture!
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Neeroc Reply:
May 5th, 2011 at 2:42 am
Eep! Sorry, I just had no idea the harm I was doing my child. *g*
Neeroc recently posted Wordless Wednesday – Tech Graffiti Wall edition
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I think that’s extremely tasteful! I’d have no problem with that hanging in my LIVING room in front of my son…lol. It’s far more tasteful than dads who keep five or six copies of Playboy by the toilet…
That, which you displayed, is art. Not porn. :)
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ofthesea Reply:
May 4th, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Hustler is fine, right?
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