Reason #158 – My son bathes in piss
Reason #158 – My son bathes in piss
May 11The one thing I apparently do right as a mom is bathing my kid every night.
To be honest, it is not because I am so bothered about the kid’s hygiene levels: it is a universally acknowledged fact that he is nothing but a little pig, always dirty and sticky and leaving a trail of crumbs and stains.
I bathe him every night because it makes him pass out like a rock when bedtime comes, and because it gives us a nice half an hour to spend some family time and have a beer (yeah, we drink beer in the bathroom, you got a problem with that?)
So tonight C was splashing in the bath as usual, while I read Jeeves on my Kindle occasionally gave him a haphazard wipe dutifully washed behind his ears, when suddenly he started peeing. Startled, he stopped mid-stream and looked at me warily, scanning my reaction.
I wish I could say I did something clever and dignified and parental and responsible.
As if.
I just laughed my head off.
So he finished his wee happily, and quite a wee it was – we had eaten lots of fruit and drank lots of juice during the afternoon. It was a tinkle for the ages.
Did I get him out of the bathtub? Did I change the water? Did I end the bath?
Did I heck.
We stayed there happily for another 15 or 20 minutes, and I forgot about the urine in the bathwater so completely, I even poured a few bucketfuls on him to rinse off the soap suds before taking him out when he was done with bathing.
I gave my son his fist golden shower.
Someone call Dan Savage.
Hysterical! And I love the picture. Just perfect!
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LOL…yeah I would like to say that is horrible and disgusting…(and it probably is) but I have totally done that. Pee is relatively sterile. And who wants to run a whole new bath so you can finish washing. I do usually run the water and use that water for the rinsing. I draw the line at accidental defecation. That is nasty.
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ofthesea Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 8:47 pm
The day the Dane called an all-out alarm, bells and whistles, because C had pooed in the bath (and I had to clean it) will remain forever in my memory.
Wait till C brings his first girlfriend home…
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Jennifer Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Ha ha…that is blackmail material if i have ever hear of any.
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Just think of it as future proofing him against athlete’s foot….
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ofthesea Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Really? That’s a cool tip!
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LOL! I feel so much better about the stain from my cat accident in my tub.
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ofthesea Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Come ON, lady, stains don’t count! It’s actual stool or no points!
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Anne-Marie Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Well, it WAS a pool of stool about a week ago, at 3am. Actually I was pretty impressed with him- he has allergies, and gets the shits if he eats stuff with corn in it (and he’s a pig who tries anything off the floor or garbage), and jumped in the tub rather than mess on the rug b/c he’s too big to get into the cat box that fast.
Why is it ME who gets the leaky cat?
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I TOLD YOU!!!! The princess pants was just the begining of ‘another’ alternative lifestyle!! LOL ;o)
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ofthesea Reply:
May 14th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
The floodgates have opened…
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