Reason #161 – Chicken, parent style
Reason #161 – Chicken, parent style
May 18Everyone knows the game of chicken, famously played in Rebel Without a Cause and Paula Abdul’s “Hush”: two people steel themselves and try to hold out in the face of danger until one of them “chickens” out.
This is how parents play chicken:
The Blessed Child plays unsupervised in the courtyard while the Dane and I are in our second floor flat (with limited visibility of said courtyard) waiting to see which one caves in first and goes downstairs to keep an eye on the mite.
So far we’re deadlocked. I’m prepping kale chips and he’s downloading photos.
The clock ticks ominously.
I look out the window, scan, report: “I can’t see him.”
He asks “Do you want me to go out?” in a tone that suggests I’m a wuss.
I look out the window again, and suddenly I see my boy emerging from behind two Chinese grandparents. He is pushing a bike around the courtyard.
“Nah, it’s OK, I just saw him.”
I toss the kale with spices. The Dane keeps doing whatever it is he’s doing.
The clock keeps ticking slowly. I try not to twitch too much.
The boy is making the rounds, and I cannot see him from the kitchen.
Goddammit, I am NOT going to be the one who caves in and goes outside! I will not! I will not! I will not!
I’ve never heard a clock tick so loud. And so freaking ominously.
TICK. TICK. TICK.
I put the kale in the oven. The Dane is the very picture of nonchalance.
I can do this. I will be strong. I will resist.
Suddenly we hear an all too familiar “WaaaaAAAAAH!” and we both instantly sprint for the door.
The greyhound-legged Dane is way way faster than I am, but I’m a lot closer.
I dash!
I beat him to it!
I bolt down the stairs and swoop C in my arms! Victory! I win!!
And then it hits me:
Damnation and hellfire.
I lost.
I’m a mother but Steve is a mother-hen, I react first (I can see trouble/injury/problems e.g. coming) but he’s the one fussing over the kiddies, hovering nervously over our 9½ month old who is learning to walk and jumping at every wimp the 3 year old utters….
dunno if that’s a good thing…
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ofthesea Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
The Dane is not mother-hen, but he takes the boy’s side far too often. Damned men sticking together!
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Bente Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 11:52 pm
lol – my stepdaughter and I stick together so I guess it’s the battle of the sexes :P She was asked by Steve “Who’s the boss” To which she replied several times that she was until papa looked scary (playfully) to which she hid behind me and said that I was the boss :P
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ofthesea Reply:
March 9th, 2012 at 7:45 am
Baaaahahahahaa! I have a new “chicken” post coming up, one in which I also lose most of the time…
You crack me up…me and my mom played that…but dang it I had just had surgery….lol
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I’m paranoid, I’ll admit it. At the end of the day that’s my child and my responsibility. We usually do the “if you look around and can’t see me, you’ve gone too far” rule. It works, but not with extrovert 2 year olds . . .
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ofthesea Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 3:01 pm
It’s gonna be a while until I can get C to understand that rule, and an even longer while until he decides to live by it… *sigh*
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This reminds me of when I take my kids to the playground. I only get up from my seat if I haven’t seen a kid for a while – and even then, if the other kid is in shouting distance I’ll send him/her to find the sibling and report back to me instead. It’s almost worse than playing it with another person because you have no competition to focus on instead of the nagging worry.
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ofthesea Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Have you tried bringing a good book?
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lol thanks for the giggle this morning. I thought we were the only parents that “played” this. Sadly I am much too paranoid and always give in.
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ofthesea Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:54 am
I know! We’re wimps!
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Jennifer Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
I always cave also. I try to be all zen and channel a 50′s mom who let her children run all over the neighborhood assuming they were ok. Then I remember all of those horrible stories I hear on the news and online about child abductions and I panic. My 9 year old is already accusing me of being “overprotective”.
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ofthesea Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Well, abduction is not a possibility in our mega-safe courtyard. There’s only the risk of him riding a trike down the basement stairs…
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Amanda Reply:
August 12th, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Video or it never happened
ofthesea Reply:
August 12th, 2011 at 10:23 pm
I’ll try to video it next time… this happens all the time here! (and I lose almost every time)