Reason #163 – I let my son die of thirst

Reason #163 – I let my son die of thirst

Jun 03

Nay, worse: I let my son die of thirst so I can water my precious plants.

All together now: That! Poor! Boy!

And now for the back story:

Being the very fancy gardener that I am, I water my “indoor garden” (4 potted herbs, one cheap tropical, and a fancy fern that cost more than all the others combined) with Evian.

OK, OK, the truth is that I (re)use an old sports-cap bottle of Evian as a watering can because it holds the perfect amount of water for all the plants and the cool spout keeps clumsy me from spilling water all over the carpet.

So yeah, I water my plants with Evian.

We also use the bottle for human consumption, because I’m all hygienic minded like that.

C has come to believe it is his very own water bottle.

(He also thinks every thing is his very own thing, but that is besides the point.)

One of these mornings, as I emerged from the kitchen with my fancypants watering bottle at the ready, C hollered:

“Awa! Awa!”

(Translation: “I will die of thirst this very instant if you don’t give me a drink of that water you have there.”)

“Wait, Booboo, Mama’s going to water the plants first.”

“NOOOOOOOOO! No, Mama*! Awaaa!”

(Translation: “Don’t give the last few drops of water in the Universe to the plants! Give them to me, your beloved son, who is fatally dehydrated!”)

Of course I just went on watering the plants while C threw himself on the ground, screeched like Regan MacNeil and eventually just died of thirst.

Maybe that’s why the downstairs neighbours give me the stink eye now whenever I meet them in the garage?

*Note: this is the first time C has ever strung two words together, and they are “No, mama!” We are clearly off to a good start.