Reason #165 – My toddler is smarter than I am

Reason #165 – My toddler is smarter than I am

Jul 13

We just got back from a one month stint in Scandinavia, and I am sick as a dog. A dog with a head cold, an ear infection, and two teeth in need of root canals.

That is one miserable dog.

So yesterday after I picked C up from daycare (because the FIRST thing I did upon returning home was shipping him to daycare, of course) I dragged myself to the supermarket for some food shopping:

  • Milk and waffles for the boy.
  • Bacon and steak for the man.
  • Broccoli and low-fat dressing for someone who seriously needs to go on a diet, ahem.

(Apparently I also got slivered almonds, tho for the life of me I don’t remember buying them.)

Anyway.

I somehow paid and got out and loaded the groceries into the car, and then it was C’s turn.

“Hey buddy, let’s get you in your car seat!”

Tug. Tug. Tug. Boy not moving.

“Come on, Booboo, give me a hand! Ready? One, two, three, hop!”

TUG. TUG. Nothing. The kid is glued to the cart.

Goddammit. I hate it when he does the jedi trick and makes himself even heavier than he is.

Time for the good old guilt trip!

“Sweetie, Mama is sick. Veeeery sick. *cough cough wheeze* Will you please help me out here? Please?”

But he doesn’t budge, and to add insult to injury he starts trying to pull his T-shirt off. Fantastic. Because all I need right now is a little nudist trying to strip in a shopping cart in the Vons’ parking lot under the blazing California sun while I cough and cough until I DIE RIGHT HERE.

Oh, wait – what’s that?

Was C lifting his shirt to show me he still had his seat belt on?

Jesus H. This kid must think I’m an idiot.

And ooh boy is he right!

6 comments

  1. Neeroc

    A month! I’d be jealous if it weren’t for the plague that you appear to have contracted. As for the belt, he obviously did it up on the sly to make you look bad *g*
    Neeroc recently posted Wordless Wednesday – Favourite people, favourite place

    [Reply to this]

    ofthesea Reply:

    It was fabulous, but let’s face it: holidays without daycare are not holidays. AND as you can see I’m paying for them in pure Karma points!

    But goddammit we had a great time!

    [Reply to this]

  2. CDG

    I seriously do that to my nearly four year old on a weekly basis.
    CDG recently posted Dave’s Bathroom

    [Reply to this]

    ofthesea Reply:

    Ah, you always make me feel better! :*

    [Reply to this]

  3. This made me laugh. I’ve done the same thing.
    Mrs Catch recently posted On Friends

    [Reply to this]

    ofthesea Reply:

    This was my first time… of many, probably. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, me.

    [Reply to this]

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