Reason #179 – I hate the playground, part I

Reason #179 – I hate the playground, part I

Aug 16

I was under the mistaken impression that a playground is supposed to be a place for kids to have fun and parents to get some air.

Boy, was I wrong.

Playground is just a euphemism for G.I. Jane-style mama bootcamp.

And I’m not saying it like it’s a good thing.

The Blessed Child weighs over 32 pounds, so even pushing him on the swings is a pretty good upper body workout (I sometimes joke with other parents that I’m getting Swinger’s Elbow, but there’s a chance they may have misunderstood me. I’m getting weird looks.)

Yet those were the easy days, when all he wanted was to swing and sing.

These days, it’s all about the monkey bars.

God save me.

The monkey bars are just about as tall as me, which is still a pretty long way up for C. Nobody can say the kid is not ambitious, though, and he is always standing on tiptoe and stretching up towards them, and pointing, and batting his blue eyes, and even saying “peesh.”

“Peesh” is C’s version of “please”.

“Peesh” slays me.

Still, the monkey bars are out of all possibility, so we have compromised: I lift him and he swings from a nearby horizontal bar that is a good 1.20 mts (4 feet?) off the ground, before falling on his feet (or his ass) and giggling his silly head off.

Lift, swing, drop, fall, giggle.

Lift, swing, drop fall, giggle.

…

Lift, groan, swing, drop, fall, giggle.

…

Lift, stop midway, groan, lift some more, swing, drop, fall, giggle.

…

“Sweetie, I think that’s enough.”

“Peesh?”

“How much is my chiro paying you for this? Because I can match it!”

“Peeeesh!”

Sigh.

Lift, swing, drop, fall…

And we still have the real monkey bars to look forward to.

Fug me.

Soon, in Part II: other kid’s toys, other kids, other kid’s parents.

Fug them.

—

Public service announcement: You can still enter the giveaway for two adorable SnapSac eco-friendly shopping bags! And if you are enjoying this blog, would you consider making a donation? There might be something in it for you!