Reason #187 – I let my son read Scandinavian toddler porn
Reason #187 – I let my son read Scandinavian toddler porn
Sep 01I must have done at least one thing right as a mother, because C loves books. He luuuurves them. He reads them alone, he makes us read to him, he shares them with his friends.
I got him a crap-ton of books in our last trip to Denmark hoping to encourage his language skills, and since I don’t understand a word of it I relied on the recommendations of friends or booksellers.
Meaning I got a lot of books but I couldn’t tell you precisely what they were about.
Can you hear the sound of trouble brewing?
A few days ago, the Dane is reading one of the Danish books to C, and suddenly he goes, “Ooee, Emilia’s mom is not so bad!”
I rip the book off his hands and see this:
And just as I’m saying “Oh come ON, it’s just a book about a kid going to swim with her mom!” I turn a few pages and see this:
Only in Scandinavia do you get full frontal nudity in a book for kids who are barely learning to read.
What’s not to love?
If you’re into this I can recommend Numsebogen = the book of bottoms.
http://www.jesperdeleuran.dk/Pages/Numsebogen.html
My 4-year old loves it!
And off course the book about animal feces: Muldvarpen Der Ville Hvem Der Havde Lavet Lort På Dens Hoved = The Mole Who Would Like To Know Who Made Shit on its head. http://www.stereostudio.dk/boeger/genrer/boerne-boeger/muldvarpen-der-ville-vide-hvem-der-havde-lavet-lor.html
:)
[Reply to this]
I would say that Bent Haller and Dennis Jurgensen (he wrote a book about zombies that gave me nightmares..) are far scarier although I’m sure some would disagree. Also Cecil Bødker.. They are unsettling those books.. But for bigger kids so don’t worry about them just yet. What about Astrid Lindgren (she’s swedish though but surely you must have heard of her? Haven’t been able to find any of her books in SD yet..) ? Ronja Røverdatter, Mio min Mio etc can be very scary as well… I think a good kids book also raises more serious and scarier subjects, and not just tell about pink dolls, jewellery etc (we have some of those too and I HATE reading them aloud, they’re so… well boring–)Which one gives you nightmares..? Spill…
Maja recently posted Pyjamasdag
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 3:54 pm
You’re going to think I’m a wuss: the ABC! In fact, I will write that blog post for Monday! ;)
[Reply to this]
Maja Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
LOL… I guess the pictures can be a bit scary.. But my daughter loves it and she’s 3.. LOL… Oh you have to read Astrid Lindgren will look forward to that post…
Maja recently posted Pyjamasdag
[Reply to this]
That is SO funny – we HAVE that book, I’ve read it aloud to my daughter many times..I’ve never thougth of it as porn..because it isn’t. And yeah, remember reading the book about how babies are made aloud to my sister when she was 7 and I 10… You know, that is absolutely crucial knowledge;-)
Maja (also a Danish reader..)
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Oh wait, I’m writing about another traumatic Danish children’s book soon. Halfdan is a cruel, CRUEL man!
[Reply to this]
Maja Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Halfdan Rasmussen? You gotta be kidding me… He’s like Danish Folklore…
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
We got a LOT of Danish books for C last summer… and this one gives me nightmares! Who would ever think that is suitable for kids??
NO! That’s awesome!
[Reply to this]
So funny to read your reactions – this is nothing ;) You should see the book about how babies are made — quite explicit reading and pictures.
Great blog – Will be spending my evening reading posts.
/ Margit (from Denmark)
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Hej! Welcome! We need more Danes around this blog!
And “my” Dane said exactly that: “you should see the book about how babies are made.” Now I can’t wait to see it!
[Reply to this]
It’s funny to read this – as a Dane, not blinking my eyes at all ;-)
It just prooves how different, we are raised ;-)
You are so added to my favorites *LOL*
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
You can imagine what the cultural differences are like in this house. Fun every day!
Welcome to the 1000 community! We need more Vikings around here! :)
[Reply to this]
What the hell is that thing on the left bottom page? A naked bagpiper trying to sneak out of the shower!?
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 8:32 am
Scandinavian porn is weird, I tell you!
[Reply to this]
Anne-Marie Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 11:40 pm
I mean, I’m all about low-key representations of naked mothers and toddlers in the shower being important plot points in children’s literature, but bagpipes? That’s kinky!
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Did you notice the peg leg, too?
Bwah hah hah!!! Omg is that seriosally a booby shot & a full out bush?!!? Wtf! Im totally flabergasted & cracking up. So how do we decide, is it that the U.S. are prudes or Scandenavia is just nasty? Well which is it ladies? I cant wait 2 show my hubby this 1. I gotta get this book 2 show my friends. Could u imagine what there childrens library consists of? Better yet, what does the books for teens show, is it our equivellancy to playboy stories? Hhmmm I wonder…
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 2nd, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I love how un-prudish Scandahoovians are! And I find it hilarious that Americans get in a tizzy over mere “wardrobe malfunctions”.
I don’t think you can get this book in the US (or in English, for that matter), but I can try to make a copy for you if you promise to tell me of your friends’ reactions!
[Reply to this]
My kids got a lot of full frontal nudity before they learned how to read. I wish I’d knew to write a book about it.
*Kicks dirt*
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 2nd, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Mine does on a pretty regular basis. I only wish I looked more like that damned drawing!
[Reply to this]
It is wrong that I’m just hoping I look that good when the little shit’s stealing my clothes from the bathroom?
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 2nd, 2011 at 4:08 pm
My feelings exactly. Damn Scandahoovians and their gorgeous genes.
[Reply to this]
Wow, dont tell my hubby about these books, he’ll buy the kids a shit-ton of them lol Just use the “its art” excuse when any of the other kids see it lol
[Reply to this]
ofthesea Reply:
September 2nd, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Baahahaa! My kind of man!
[Reply to this]