Reason #192 – I left my toddler home alone
Reason #192 – I left my toddler home alone
Sep 09The Dane had his weekly racquetball game tonight, and while he was away I just walked out of my apartment, leaving my not-yet-2-year-old boy sleeping inside.
Horrifying, I know.
We live in an indecently safe part of an obscenely safe town, and to top it off our apartment is in a gated community in which all tenants are Caltech postdocs and their families.
There has not been an axe murder here since the Washoes went scalp hunting. If they ever did. Which seems unlikely.
Yet I felt just like a McCann for the 6 minutes I was out of the house.
A reenactment of the events leading to the crime would look like this:
- I put C to sleep in his bedroom.
- Once he was down for good, I left the apartment and took the lift to the basement.
- I
kicked myself for leaving the car keys at hometransfered the freshly laundered clothes into the dryer. - I
rued that I didn’t even bring enough cash for a quick Margarita at Amigo’sinserted 4 quarters into the machines. - I got back into the lift
with one last longing look at my car. - I walked in a dignified manner
made a brave effort not to sprintover the 5 meters that separate the lift from my front door.
I made it home! The Blessed Child is still sleeping, un-hacked to pieces by Norman Bates. (What? I worry that a psycho might get my child, and if you were a responsible parent so would you. We live in dangerous times.)
Come 3 am I’ll probably be wishing for Leatherface’s services, but in the meantime…
Oh my god your website makes me laugh so much! And I identify with it all: almost every friday night, Baby Bear sleeps at home, whilst her disgraceful parents eat dinner and occasionally drink too much with the neighbours, all whilst listening to her sweet, angelic snores on the baby monitor. Not only that, but I have been known to ignore a cr*ppy nappy until Daddy Bear gets home, eat her dinner cos she just wont and Im so hungry, and worse, I actually enjoyed going back to work after 6 months of mat leave. And so the list goes on… And now reading your blog I realise – Im not the only one! Yippee! Now, where did I put that bottle of wine?
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I’m new to your site, but it intrigued me. When my daughter was 1.5 years, my husband and I would put her to bed, and walk down the street to our friends house. We lived in a cul-de-sac and knew every car. We even would have bonfires at night, while she slept at our house. We did however have a baby monitor just in case she needed us (which wasn’t often)
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A McCann! LOL!
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ofthesea Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 9:58 am
I tell you! Pure paranoia!
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I’m with @CDG – I was waiting for the part of the story where you walked 5 blocks and downed a pitcher of margaritas while using some iPhone app to keep an eye on things at home. Basement + laundry doesn’t seem so awful.
But keep trying, I’m sure you’ll come up with something really crappy soon ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 9:58 am
Ah, you inspire me to be a better bad mom!
…and what’s that app called? ;)
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I’m pretty sure going to switch the laundry in the building isn’t leaving C home alone. Sorry, dear. You’re going to have to try to suck more.
Just saying.
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ofthesea Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 9:59 am
You’re a stern taskmistress! So demanding!
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I think it should be illegal to feel guilty about anything associated with doing laundry.
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ofthesea Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 10:00 am
Hear hear!
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Hubby used to laugh at me when I would freak out when we stepped outside our apartment door to smoke…just outside the apartment door. As if The Boy would spontaneously combust if I wasn’t in the next room when he woke up!! Now, I have been known to go outside and wish he didn’t know where I went for just. five. minutes…
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ofthesea Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 10:00 am
Ah, it gets better! Good to know!
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