Reason #196 – I hate the playground, part II
Reason #196 – I hate the playground, part II
Sep 16We’ve already gone over why I hate taking my son to the playground, but there is So. Much. More.
Take, for example, the parents who bring toys for their kids to show off enhance their playground experience.
Really, people? You bring motherfuckin’ toys to a motherfuckin’ playground? What the heck is that about? Do you also bring sandwiches to a restaurant and a DVD player to the cinema?
Let me walk you through what will happen to your precious toys in our playground:
1. My son, who is under the impression that everything in the playground is there to be used, will see your kid’s toy and beeline to it.
2. I don’t care if your child is 4 years old and reads Dostoevski – my toddler is as big and strong as an ox, and he’s so young he does not give a shit if your kid does not want to share. (Incidentally, neither do I.)
3. Don’t bother asking C to give you back the toy or to try to “take turns” with it – I know he’s tall but he’s not even 2, and those concepts are as alien to him as the notion that he cannot use something that he found in the playground.
4. C will grab the toy, play with it, hug it, sing to it, drool on it, kick it all over the place, and eventually leave it when he finds a cooler toy from another show-off prepared parent like yourself.
5. At that point I will retrieve the toy, bring it back to you, and utter a fake apology. Accept it, smile, and retreat quickly if you want to see another 4th of July.
Next time, what about leaving the toys at home and just using the damn playground facilities? It would make life so much easier for me if I didn’t have to chase my son all over the playground to protect your kid’s stupid toys.
And if my life is easier, yours may be safer. Just saying.
OMG! LOL and LOL again :-)
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Hmmm. We bring digging things to the sandbox now and then. More importantly — your post title is SEO gold, I tell you.
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ofthesea Reply:
September 18th, 2011 at 7:08 am
That’s about the only thing that makes a little sense… and ONLY if you’re willing to share with little buffaloes!
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I’m with you on the whole NOT bringing toys to the playground. I HATE when parents let their children bring toys to nursery which is FULL of toys! Take the battle with your child once and for all and say No. My children have had their fair share of tantrums not being allowed to bring toys to playgrounds, nursery etc. But I won’t give in on that one:)
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ofthesea Reply:
September 17th, 2011 at 9:46 am
Isn’t it ridiculous? And then it’s EVERYONE’s job to look after the stupid toys! Argh!
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Ok I’ve been a naughty parent. Sort of. When we take my daughter to the park, she generally gets to take her ball. We don’t have a yard any more, and I swear she’s going to be a soccer player! But we are generally kind enough to only play with it far away from other people and not at the actual playground parts lol she’s small and it was something she could play with if the actual playground areas were too crowded or not toddler friendly. But also, my little one would probably be more than happy to play ball with C lol
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ofthesea Reply:
September 17th, 2011 at 9:48 am
You’re OK – balls belong in fields and courts, to kick and run after them.
But a ball by the swings or the monkey bars? I could kill.
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I really like how you put it out there with this sentence: “You bring motherfuckin’ toys to a motherfuckin’ playground?” but then protect us from your words with the very next sentence: “What the heck is that about?”
Anyway – Your boy is adorable and if he took one of my son’s toys (not that I would bother bringing them to the playground since I can barely remember to bring pull-ups or a blanket to daycare, much less something that my son might enjoy) I would let him have it!! He deserves all the toys in the world!! (those that my son doesn’t want, that is) :)
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ofthesea Reply:
September 17th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Heh, that’s actually how I talk: part profanity, part demure. The perils of a catholic education! XD
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