Reason #207 – I make a mockery of Christmas AGAIN

My Christmas behaviour has not been great the last 2 years, but this year I’ve really gone and done it. Like little Susie Derkins said: “Santa is gonna skip this block for years.”

You see: I didn’t get anything for my kid’s first Christmas because he was barely 10 weeks old, and last year I gave him only half a Christmas present.

But this year?

This year I bought absolutely nothing for him.

Have you got your pitchforks yet?

These are my excuses:

1. He has way too many toys already, which he doesn’t know what to do with.
2. He still doesn’t quite get the concept of “getting presents”, bless. He’s just 2!
3. He’s still happier playing with sticks and empty bottles than with fancy toys.
4. I spent all the budget for his presents already, and obviously not on him. But that’s another post.

And so, since my Blessed boy loves to unwrap things (but he doesn’t give a hoot about what he unwraps) this year I just borrowed a wicked floor puzzle from the Caltech Toy library, which will get all wrapped and prettied up and planted under the tree on Christmas night.

In a month, when C no longer remembers the puzzle’s existence, I’ll wipe it up with a damp cloth, put it back in its box, and return it to the Toy Library.

Everyone wins: C gets to rip wrapping paper and to enjoy a new toy, I get to see my boy happy without spending a penny, and the environment gets one less plastic toy to deal with (Sorry about the wrapping paper, environment! I promise I’ll recycle it!)

I dare you to find a fault in my plan.

…other than the fact that Santa will surely instruct all of his reindeer to poop in my chimney to punish my lack of Christmas spirit.

–

Ladies, if you’re anything like me you still haven’t bought your Xmas presents, am I right or am I right? I’m getting off easy with the kid, but grown-ups are not so easy to dupe… which is why I am totally getting a couple of California Wine Club subscriptions as presents for a few people I want to impress with my newfound California wine savvy.

Don’t judge me for trying to appear cooler than I am.

After having tested the wine club deliveries for three glorious months myself (boy, they went by fast!) I can now tell you with full knowledge that the CWC sends good, good stuff. Jon Boring, the lovely @boringwineguy, told me the last shipping would be the best because they like to go all out on the holidays, and ooh boy he was not lying – the Tulip Hill red was outrageous, and if I were a better person Santa might consider dropping a case down our new chimney.

But no, it’s gonna be reindeer poop for me.

Anyway, if you’re stuck for a present for the in-laws, your boss, or even your beloved (yay boomerang present!), skip the horrible traffic and the parking queues and the mall shrews, and get a great present with a discount: if you use code badmom when you order your presents at the California Wine Club, you get a full 10% off!

You can’t say I don’t love you.

PS: If you wanna thank me for aaaall the money and time you saved with my promo code and good advice, I wouldn’t say no to a bottle (or 12) of Tulip Hill’s Cabepulciano.

Just sayin’!

Related Reasons:

Reason #163 - I let my son die of thirst

Reason #126 – The half-toy Christmas

Reason #123 – I make a mockery of Christmas

Reason #115 - I go all Spanish Inquisition on...