Reason #33 – I strip my son of his dignity for my own amusement
Reason #33 – I strip my son of his dignity for my own amusement
Jul 11The dignity of toddlers is not a big concern in the large scheme of things, though I would not be surprised if a couple of busybodies upstanding citizens started organizing a League for Infant Dignity after reading this. My boy can be their poster child.
I admit it: putting my long-suffering boy in undignified outfits makes my day every single time.
Poor C has been the subject of various indignities from the very earliest days. He was barely 2 months old when I forced him to impersonate a nordic beast of burden for my entertainment:
I was so amused by his antics I soon started teaching him circus tricks with the aid of a chair, a whip, and some raw fish:
Then came the time when his aunt started dabbling into millinery, and poor C was used as an unwilling model for all sorts of hat prototypes:
The hats were such a huge success, I took it one step further: what about coordinating a humiliating hat with a humiliating outfit? Surely it would be the most hilarious thing ever!
It was.
You’d think at some point basic human decency would set in, but no. Like Caligula, excess just led to more and more excess, as I soon became bored with the new torments I inflicted on my poor son.
Today, however, I may have gone too far. He has that look in his eyes.
Uh-Oh. The LID is so gonna come after me.
I am shopping for a harness for my 16 month old Bear who can run faster than me. They all have these useless animal backpacksattached to them now (not to mention the biggest design flaw – they do up in the front). I read the description and nearly died laughing when I read that the animal backpack attached to the harness is to save the toddlers dignity! Seriously, I am supposed to be worried about the dignity of a toddler, who would probably run naked through the mall if allowed?
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 6:47 am
Let me know which one you buy and I’ll get the same. My toddler has no dignity anyway.
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Carrie and the Bear Reply:
October 18th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Whoot I just put through my order today here : http://www.childharness.ca/ She makes her own because she had so many problems with store bought ones.
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You had me at “Caligula.”
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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ofthesea Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 11:08 am
I had never given much thought to who my target audience was.
Turns out it is you.
Glad to have sorted that out!
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Nigel Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 11:10 am
Glad to know that this blog has been personalized just for me.
I fell so special and epic.
Nigel recently posted Reason 625 Why I Am a Cat Person
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Your post brought back a rush of memories for me…..had to smile. I too was guilty of putting my son in undignified outfits for my amusement. Some that come to mind are Tigger, a cow and Bam Bam (oh yeah and the train conductor). Loved your pics of “captain adorable”!!!
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ofthesea Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 10:08 am
He will live to HATE me for that one, I’m sure. Especially when i show it to all his girlfriends, mwahahah!
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I really miss those days! I had crazy winter hats that I bought just because of how ridiculous my kids looked in them. I miss picking out outfits.
Adorable pictures!
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Celebrating Each Step
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ofthesea Reply:
July 12th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I am counting down to the PANDA OUTFIT I’ll make him wear for his first birthday. Oh yes I will.
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Tee, hee, hee! Some much needed parental comic relief! I always like to visit the commenter above me from SITS, and am so glad I came by. You have great style, wit, and have some wordsmithing panache!
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ofthesea Reply:
July 12th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Wow, thanks for that! You just made my Monday! :D
Also, I repaid the visit and I’m going gaga over those baby food cakes! Hmm… I wonder if I can gather enough jars in 3 months for C’s first bday…
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