Reason #46 – I pimp my baby boy out for money
Reason #46 – I pimp my baby boy out for money
Jul 21“Officer, it’s not what you think! Please don’t arrest me before you’ve read the whole thing! I’m not in that business, I swear!”
(I’m going to need someone to post my bail. I’ll pay you back. Some day.)
Babies are expensive. Fact. Or rather, babies are often free, but they come with a never-ending stream of indispensable accessories and foodstuffs that usually cost an arm and a leg. And then they grow up and want to go to college instead of playing online poker, making millions at the WSOP, and buying you a house in Barbados.
As a business proposal, babies are not great.
I’ve been thinking long and hard about this, and I think there is only one solution if I’m gonna have some money left for wine and chocolate savings at the end of the month. C’s gonna have to start earning his keep.
Now, what can my baby do to start earning some money?
My boy is beauteous, and I’m not just seeing him through mommy goggles. Strangers on the street stop us to gush about him: there are lots of “Sweetie, come HERE, you HAVE to see this baby, he’s the CUTEST thing I’ve EVER seen!!” and “Oh my god THOSE EYES! They are almost silver-coloured! SO dreamy!” and “Is he yours??” (have I got some answers for that one!) and “He looks like the Gerber baby! Have you thought of sending his pics to an agency?”
Ker-CHING.
BABY MODEL FOR HIRE. C is available immediately for all your photo and video advertising. C has plenty of modeling experience and he is perfectly comfortable with cameras, friendly with strangers and animals, and very easygoing. We can travel to wherever you need us (Business Class, please.) You can find C’s Portfolio right here.
Make us an offer we can’t refuse.
No, wait.
Make us an offer. We can’t refuse.
…because I’m going to need bail money.
Because the best thing to have with your tea are stories about pimping infants out. Go on, read some more – you'll feel like a better mom!
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My 10 seconds are pretty elastic. Glad you like my boy! (And the blog, heh.) Hope to see you again soon!
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How funny are you! Your baby is gorgeous. Regarding the eating off the floor. We have the 10 second rule its fine if you eat it within 10 seconds! Wait I've stopped laughing. I'm going back to read some more!
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Giggle-frikkin'-snort! I popped over here from the tea party, and I'm going to be here a while, I can tell!
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As real as it gets! :)
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Stopping by from the LB Society Tea Party – love your blog – what a great concept! I appreciate it when mommies keep it real :-)
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Thank you, thank you. If i can't hook you with my writing I can always offer more eye candy, right? ;)
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such a funny post!! and yes….your baby looks fantabulous!!
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Amazing, isn't it? I did a little dance when I found out the URL was available!
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What a clever idea! Why has nobody else thought of this?
Dropping in from LBS!
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Lateral thinking – you're good! ;)
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Just stopping in from the LB tea party… LOL, awesome, thanks for the laugh. My daughter is almost 13 months and a total drain on the pocketbook. Unfortunately, she has a habit of looking away or blinking just as the flash goes off… maybe she'd be better on the runway than in print? ;)
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Thanks! If you hear of anyone interested in a baby escort point them my way!
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I love meeting moms of kids the same age! I'm thinking of expanding my pimping stable, so if you decide your kid is ready to earn some money just let me know! ;)
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I stopped by from the Lady bloggers Tea Party. You've got a funny little blog there! :) And Yes, a gorgeous baby that is worth millions! Good luck with the pimping.
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Hey there,
I'm stopping in from the Lady Bloggers Society Tea and just love this. So glad I found you. I'll be back. I have a nine month old – so relate to a lot of these. We joke it's time for our daughter to start earning her keep too :)
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Ooooh, teenagers. Do you have a huge countdown till they leave for college?
I plan on making one for C the second he starts highschool. Who said I'm not a crafty person?
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Hi There! I'm visiting from SITS and I have to say C is a goldmine! That kids adorable. I love your blog. Rest assured you'll be like mesoon. A crap mom of two teenagers. We're all doing the best we can!
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I love this! Very funny :) Stopping by from SITS
http://www.theTsaritsasez.com/
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Hi – Stopping by from SITS. I looooove the title of your blog {I've often thought of that with my stellar mom-skills ;) }
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WHAT!?!?? I challenge your kids to a cute-off with mine, mano a mano! ;)
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This is to funny!! Stopping by from 31DBBB and love your blog. Your lil guy is too cute :)
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Wow, he does have some beautiful eyes….amazing….gonna be a lady killer
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Awww he's too cute! :D Love those big beautiful eyes!
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He is a cute little devil, isn't he? But, sadly, my children ARE the most BEAUTIMOUS of them all… ;o)
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I'm waiting for the bidding war between Pampers and Huggies to start at any moment! ;)
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Love it! He's so stinkin' cute, seriously he could do it. Pimp him out…go for it. Mama's gotta eat.
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Either that or that I'm a nanny who's forgotten her place. You just gave me an idea for a post, thanks! :D
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He is cute, but I'm especially fond of your answer to “Is he yours?”. Were they insinuating that you stole him?
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ofthesea Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 8:16 pm
You just gave me an idea for another post! Thanks! (and you earned a link for that, fwiw!)
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Agreed. He is crazy cute!
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I shall beware of the talent agent! Thanks for the tip! ;)
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hahahahah..omg..it's like you plucked it right out of my brain and put it on paper *sigh* both pathetic (for me) and hysterical! I'm a fan now
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I used to get so many comment about my first born. But, the only person to make money was the talent agent…beware.
He IS beautiful!
i love your blog title!
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And so begins my career as a Toddler Pimp. I need a golden cane and a fur coat! ;)
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I've had the same comments about my son. Maybe we need to team up, what modeling agency could turn down not one, but two, amazing kiddos?
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