Reason #72 – My baby sleeps on a bed of nails
Reason #72 – My baby sleeps on a bed of nails
Aug 20The mattress on my baby’s crib is filled with glass shards and cactus thorns, and covered in rusty nails. I disguise it well, with cute sheets, blankies and plush toys.
But C, he knows what lies beneath that cuddly exterior, and he is not fooled for a second.
My son can – and often does – fall asleep ANYWHERE: on my bed, on the sofa, on the floor, inside the fridge, on top of the stove or hanging from a mango tree branch. He falls asleep in the weirdest places, and goes downright narcoleptic when I want him awake for a photo op.
Sound asleep. Snoring. Drooling. You get the idea.
However, if I delicately lift my sleeping boy, lovingly carry him into his bedroom and gingerly deposit him on his crib…
Boing! He’ll spring into wide-eyed wakefulness upon contact with that hateful spiky mattress, the worst place in the Universe for a baby to rest his weary head.
No wonder he went as far as to break it down.
Time to buy a new bed for C.
And to wonder…
…what kind of torture device will I hide in the next one?
I’ve always gotten the best sleep in the weirdest places and in the weirdest positions. A glass filled mattress sounds heavenly!
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ofthesea Reply:
August 23rd, 2010 at 11:06 pm
You’re preaching to the choir: I took a 2+ hour nap today in my car. At the driver’s seat.
Don’t ask.
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Good to know as I prepare to drop several hundred bucks on a new crib in the next few days. I will strive for a nail and shard-free one. ;-)
Amy recently posted Join me in the Hands off campaign!- August 22- 2010
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ofthesea Reply:
August 22nd, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Sorry to break the news, sweetie, but there is nothing you can do. The crib WILL have thorns and shards, but your bed oddly never will!
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Way too funny. This has happened to me on several occasions!!
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ofthesea Reply:
August 22nd, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Welcome! I’m repaying the visit stat!
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It sure does seem that way….lol
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ofthesea Reply:
August 22nd, 2010 at 4:40 pm
He’ll be wishing he still had his old bed of nails when I unleash the new horror on him. Mind my words!
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Awwww- so sweet.
My children HATED their beds and were CONSTANTLY falling asleep in the comfy coziness of our down comforter and pillows. I know they don’t recommend it, but as soon as they were strong enough to crawl around, they got a flat pillow. It seriously made all the difference.
Until the molars hit. Then you’re on your own.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 21st, 2010 at 5:39 pm
The molars HAVE hit. I’m just finishing writing my will.
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Oh don’t forget to add some bed bugs for good measure! I hear they’re all the rage in those fancy NY hotels.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 21st, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Spot on.
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LOL that last picture just melt my heart. But yeah, I feel you, mine just fell asleep on the sofa with backyardigans watching him LOL
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ofthesea Reply:
August 21st, 2010 at 5:38 pm
C is more an “Special Agent Bear” kinda guy.
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no no no…….tacks and red pepper flakes !!! LOL
Cinnamon recently posted Giving A Damn
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ofthesea Reply:
August 20th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Dang! You’re good!
Maybe also a hornet nest or two…
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My youngest was the same, he would only sleep face down on our super plush pillow top so that it seemed like he was nearly smothering himself as he napped. He wasn’t. So we padded his crib mattress with multiple layers of squishy covers and it worked. That might help disguise the broken glass. ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
August 20th, 2010 at 10:57 am
I’m thinking barbed wire and nettles for his next bed.
And squishy covers on top!
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