Reason #75 – I emptied my son’s savings account
Reason #75 – I emptied my son’s savings account
Aug 27Today I transferred most of my son’s savings into my own account, and promptly spent them. I left $20 and change for his college fund. I figure he has plenty of time to start saving again – as soon as he’s able to walk properly he can start making some extra cash by washing cars and mowing lawns in the neighbourhood.
“You horrible HORRIBLE woman! I bet you are taking that child’s hard-earned money to squander it on chocolate, makeup and wine. I know your kind. You disgust me!”
Go on, call Child Services. I’ll wait here.
And while we’re waiting for the SWAT Team let me breezily drop the following nuggets of information:
- C’s now-empty savings account had all of $100 in it originally
- Because I just opened it a few days ago
- And deposited $100 in it so it didn’t feel lonely
- Which means today I took out a whopping $80
- To help me cover the mechanic bill
- For fixing a broken piece of the suspension system
- That probably broke under the weight of C’s fat diapers
Oh hi, officer. Yes, me again. Nope, this time it actually was all a misunderstanding.
Who’s looking silly now? Huh? Who?
Oh. Still me?
Dammit.
i spent my 2 yr. old sons’ 160$ on getting my infected tooth ripped out. what use is a mom if she always grabbing her face and wincing in pain? it was my spare change accumulated over the past while, anyway. thanks, son! :)
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I spent my son’s Christmas money on new tires for my car, but really they were for him so he wouldn’t die when my bald tires caused us to crash. Yup, always looking out for his best interests! And really, what does a 2 year old need with $200 anyway? Geesh.
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ofthesea Reply:
January 11th, 2011 at 8:38 am
Sounds like a good investment… especially if you also got a bottle of wine with the change!
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“that broke over the weight of his diaper!” LOL! My son got $20 for his birthday this month and I spent it on gas. But we were on our way to MyGym so it was for him.
Alexandria recently posted Dear Ms Hilton–
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ofthesea Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 9:28 am
It counts if you spend it on something that will benefit them. Wine benefits them because it makes mommy happy.
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We actually *gasp* took out $100 from our son’s savings account. We had a last minute opportunity to go to Paris, and were exactly $100 short. I think that when he gets older we will tell him and he will agree that getting the opportunity to see Paris was worth it.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:49 am
Paris??? Totally beats paying the mech’s bill. Good on you!
I’ll go to my corner and be jealous now, if you don’t mind.
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College fund? What college fund? My poor kids have never had a college fund. I’m not that lucky of a parent to have one for them (yet, anyway).
You gotta do, what’cha gotta do. ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:50 am
I call it “college fund” to feel better about the $20 sitting in his bank account.
Heck, he can always use those $20 to buy beer if/when he gets to college.
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I vote for education in Europe, the sure way to go.
Now go on and get that $20 for something you really need :)
Maybe you can gamble and make the $80 back?
Maryline recently posted Run no matter what
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ofthesea Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I’m a terrible gambler, but I like the way you think!
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You’re too funny. :-)
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College fund? Gone.
The girl is getting a scholarship. That’s the plan, anyway.
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Seriously. He needs to be more responsible. He could probably start doing chores now, right?
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ofthesea Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 8:31 am
He’s been polishing the floors for quite a while now…
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My 11 YO ‘caught’ me taking a $20 out of her wallet. I was going to quietly borrow it for the night. And yep it was for alcohol! And quickly return it the next day after I hit the bank. But she walked in on me! Busted.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Oh, you will pay it back more than 10 times in therapy later on ;) But she never needs to know it was for booze!!
Also, your 11 YO has $20 in her wallet?? That is more than I have in mine!
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My circle of Crap Moms routinely clears out our kids’ piggy banks. Someone must provide funds for our wine.
When we’re done we call Grandmommy and Grandaddy and brag about our great week at school and ask for payment for the piggy bank.
Rinse and repeat!
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
You are my kind of people. Can I come drink with you the next time I’m in Atlanta?
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Dude!
That ISN’T EVEN CRAPPY! Geez…
And C can totally start making that money back now. If he’s so wonderful making sad bambi eyes for food, teach him to do it for cash! Or just pimp him out like you had originally planned. I would so take that on more aggressively my dear.
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m not a bad enough mama!
I’m definitely pimping that little charmer more aggressively. Tomorrow we’re going to the farmer’s market to see how much free stuff he can get!
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Yea, sometimes you gotta do that. There are always loans, right?
Allison @ Alli ‘n Son recently posted Losing A Little Control
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Do you reckon he’s going to make me pay the vig?
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Been there.
Done that.
Apparently, I too am a crap parent.
Go, me!
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Finally! You’re back!!!
You should quit that working crap.
You were missed. A lot.
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Nigel Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 11:48 am
My schedule this week has been quite screwed, but yes: things are about back to normal, at least after I grab myself a little nap.
I’m glad I was missed!
Nigel recently posted Musician Violence Haiku
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He’ll likely qualify for some sort of financial aid anyway, after they show him this blog. They’ll feel sorry for him and offer to provide him with higher education in the best effort possible to escape your negligent grasp.
Just kidding.
Angela recently posted Irrevocably Fucked Up
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 11:46 am
I like the way you think! A pity fund!
Also – i’m totally heading over to read that post. What a title!
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It was about time that kid started pulling his own weight. I’m thinking about making my kids buy groceries this week. Freeloaders!
Summer recently posted Everyone Thinks You’re Stupid! Go JUMP Off That Bridge The One With All The Traffic Below Thanks
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 11:14 am
Yeah! Do they expect to stay at the Mom Hotel until they’re what, five? Failure to launch, much?
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He didn’t need it anyway. By the time he hits college age, knowledge will be free and a college education will be obsolete. Right?
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 9:49 am
I’m hoping by the time he hits college age i will have secured him an EU passport entitling him to free education.
Also, I need the car. And the chocolate. And the make up.
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Starly Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Oh, college fund, my 9mo son doesn’t even have one. But he already lives in the EU, so he’ll maybe need it less ;)
But surely get C the German passport, so He can work anywhere in the EU. You may be lucky since German citizenship is aquired trough genetics, not place of birth :)
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ofthesea Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Oh, C doesn’t have a single German gene. He was just “made” in Berlin, IYKWIM…
That said, I am working on securing him an EU pass anyway ;) Watch this space!