Reason #98 – I never carry my son
Reason #98 – I never carry my son
Oct 13My poor baby, I never carry him.
The realisation came to me today while I was ogling celebrity baby pics at work for no reason at all: it seems that everyone who’s anyone in Hollywood won’t let their huge kids set foot on the ground.
Did I say those kids are huge? Because they are.
For example, Gwen Stefani has a big kid.
And Heidi Klum has a couple of very big kids.
And Jennifer Garner‘s girl? She looks old enough to drive, let alone walk!
Is this how these parents show how deeply they love their children?
Uh-oh.
I hardly ever carry C since he started to walk. I am depriving my boy of the red carpet lifestyle! And of a proper display of parental love!
…and egad I will continue to deprive him. I cannot afford to visit my osteopath every other day.
I am very sorry that C will miss out on the Suri Cruise experience, but my back can’t handle the 11 kilos that he already weighs for more than a gruelling brisk 50 mt walk. If he wishes to be carried further, he will have to resort to his entourage.
Take THAT, celebrity babies. My boy rolls deep!
I am so not one to carry my children. I will gladly leave them sitting on the ground in the middle of the store if they don’t want to walk themselves. I am not a ride, lol! I carried each of them for 9 months on the inside and at least another 9 months on the outside! I think that’s P-L-E-N-T-Y! Lol!
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ofthesea Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Hear hear! The voice of reason!
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Ever since my baby become a walking nightmare who likes to pinch me for no reason I hate carrying. Never mind the fact that my child is an extraordinarily tall 2 yro and I am an extraordinarily short 23 yro. His legs hit my knees constantly. I never leave without the stroller. Because letting him walk would actually be even more agonizing.
Alexandria recently posted So this is what I wore…into the fall
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ofthesea Reply:
October 18th, 2010 at 10:02 am
Yours pinches too? C also digs his fingernails on me and karate-chops my neck. What is it with these boys?
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Alexandria Reply:
October 19th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Yes! And he does it on purpose! And it HURTS like HELL!
Alexandria recently posted So this is what I wore…into the fall
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>celebrity kids
I think they’re just trying to get away from the paparazzi as fast as they can. It’s not like they’re waving. I wouldn’t want my kid subjected to that every time we went out.
>me
as soon as I can get away with it, I switch to holding hands. My nieces still carry all my kids like they can’t walk 2 feet on their own…..but if they try that with me, I just sit on the floor :p
HeartBabyHome recently posted Coming Home on Oxygen – Disabilty Placard
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Heck, anyone who wants to carry C is welcome to try.
Me?
No thanks!
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I stopped carrying my two long ago. Pretty much as soon as they became mobile enough to walk everywhere without getting tired. I have a bad back.. my oldest weights 63lbs, and my youngest weighs around 35lbs. Who’s back can handle that?! Noooot me!
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:29 am
Maybe Hulk Hogan? I’d need a wheelbarrow to carry those, that’s for sure!
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i love the way you write! =D
i dont have babies yet but i doubt i’d be like a celebrity mom carrying their children all the time.. =)
visiting from Lamby tribe
viviene recently posted If I had more time- I would…
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:27 am
Thanks Viviene! Glad to have you as a fellow Lamby! :)
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As soon as my kids learn how to walk there will be NO carrying. I dream of the day my kids can walk themselves to the car. Get in and out of the car on their own. Drive the car. Buy their own car. …but I digress. Baby steps. Please god, let there be baby steps!
Erin recently posted Where is Mary Poppins when you need her
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:26 am
Do you carry them? Both? At the SAME TIME?
I’ll say it again, you are my hero!
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This cracked me up, “my boy rolls deep”, haha! My little one wants to walk everywhere now…which is fine except some places are dangerous. We tried to pick her up at the pumpkin patch the other day to cross the parking lot and she started kicking and screaming! Maybe if I get a few people with cameras to start jumping out of the bushes she’ll at least let me carry her until we’re away from any cars that might run over her!
(from the Goose and WordPress Tribes)
Jenn recently posted Dreams and Aspirations- The Long Road There
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:26 am
Hey, fellow tribester!
I have found that the best way to carry C when he does not want to be carried (like next to a busy freeway) is to fling him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Not pretty, but effective!
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Yeah, I made the mistake of babywearing from the beginning. Now, if I even THINK about setting him in the cart at the grocery store he throws a huge shitfit. My back hurts. Bad. Any time someone starts to ask if they can hold him I shove him in their arms before they finish the question.
Laura @ The Things I Said I’d Never Do recently posted Wordless Wednesday- Reunited and It Feels so Good
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:24 am
I attempted babywearing a couple of times when he was about 2 months old, and even THEN he was too heavy for me.
Sorry, babywearers, I admire you but the way of Peruvian natives is not my way.
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I think I would carry my kid everywhere too if I had paparazzi jumping out of the bushes at him. Imagine what kind of phobias those kids will have…don’t buy them a jack-in-the-box.
Michelle Saunderson recently posted Family Dinners- Setting Up Your Family For Success
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:23 am
You made me laugh out loud! At work! Bad Michelle, bad!
*fetching rolled-up newspaper*
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There are Baby Carrying Phases:
Phase 1 = Carry until they walk or be deemed Shit Mom.
Phase 2 = Don’t carry because they can now walk and my back hurts like crap.
Phase 3 = Occasionally carry now that my back has somewhat healed.
Phase 4 = Carry them in your heart because they are too damn big to carry any other way!
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Phase 5 – they carry YOU.
I think we’ll hit this with C when he’s 11 and half a head taller than me!
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Amy in Atlanta Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 6:41 am
Our pediatrician calculated my adopted Russian son will be 6 feet tall by age 14. Ain’t that great? I’m only 5’5″!
At 16 he can “carry me” in his own car…that he will be buying with his own money….that he earns from his own job! Yeah! I’m such a sharing, giving mom.
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ofthesea Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Mine will be a beanpole too. I look forward to making him change every lightbulb in the house.
I carry Ry everywhere whenever we are out, and not by choice. And yes, my back is broken. But, I have no control over my son. None. Put him down and he’s hightailing it to the nearest construction zone or freeway, despite all efforts to hold his hand and direct his movement. So if he’s not strapped into some contraption, or within the safety of a closed in area, he is held.
As for Payton, there are no worries about her venturing more than six inches from my side. And yet, I am often having to carry her too… Whenever she’s feeling shy or overwhelmed, she seeks the comfort of Momma’s arms. Sometimes, she’s denied. How awful, I know. But I feel like my body’s starting to sink down inside of my knees from the weight, I can only cater to these demands so much!
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
You must look like my impressive Swedish friend, who crossed the mall the other day carrying her HUGE 5 y-o and her pretty big 1 y-o while I trotted next to her whining about how my arm hurt for carrying only C.
Respect, woman, r-e-s-p-e-c-t to you.
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Nosey Rosies want to know – which one of C’s hot entourage lives at the beach?! ;)
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Nosey Rosie indeed!
Nobody lives at the beach, but you might want to take a closer look at someone in a gray t-shirt… ;)
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Brandy Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Mama has good taste :D
Eddie’s a bit of a looker, too (although both are no where near as scrumptious as the Blessed Child)
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Hahaha! I love this and C’s entourage! Now that I think of all the pictures out their of celebrities and their kids, I am convinced that celebrities just hold their kids to be seen holding their kids, you know? It’s weird publicity and sad as I am sure (about 99.9% sure) that for much of the day, if their kids are held, they are held by nannies and the like.
-Jessica
Lambytribe
Jessica recently posted I dont want to be a helicopter parent
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Yeah, either to be all “look at what a good mom I am, carrying my 25 kg pre-teen” or – like Hollix suggested – to avoid paparazzi.
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Those people are probably carrying their spoiled giant children to rush them out of the papparazzi’s view. Luckily you don’t have that problem…. yet… That boy will be bigger than Beiber, I’m telling you!
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
He’s gonna be the next, hotter, not-as-neurotic Robert Pattinson. Mark my words!
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Love the entourage ;-)
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 9:14 am
C not only has an entourage – he has a Dam Good Looking entourage! :D
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I had to constantly tell Hubby not to carry the kids once they learned to walk – if he wasn’t there they thought I would carry them too! What’s the point of getting so excited that they can walk? LOL.
Mellisa recently posted We Had a Ball
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 9:15 am
I have the same problem with Ms. Lilly – she loves carrying him, and when she’s not around he expects that I carry him too.
Not gonna happen.
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Delurking to say that walking builds character.
Which you totally know.
And the more he walks? The less he’ll need to see your osteopath in the future!
Financial win!
CDG recently posted Scarlett the Clown
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 8:16 am
Win-win! I hadn’t thought of it that way.
My poor osteo, how will he make a living now?
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I was/am the same way. Look at it this way, our kids will be better at walking than those dumb celebrities babies! :)
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos recently posted Do as I say- Not as I do
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ofthesea Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 8:21 am
Hell yeah. And we won’t be suffering from kid-carrying-induced scoliosis!
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